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Barricade

By maipenrai

04 June 2005

The winters snow

fell like white tears from Heaven as if

God Himself was crying for

St.Petersburg

and behind the barricade

the Red Flags flew

strong and proud

for all to see

the Revolution would go on

Reviews

Umm
Written by twriter (117 comments posted) 5th June 2005

I really don't understand the last line but the rest of the poem is terribly moving. Lovely.

TW

Barricade
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 5th June 2005

Thank you so much for youy comments, the"f" was a mistake which I have now removed, again thanks
Bernie

Vive la revolution!
Written by StinkAlloy (3 comments posted) 10th June 2005

I like the fast flow of this poem, Bernie. I read it as two long lines, and I immediately thought of Citizen Smith. Vive la revolution! Or Woody Allen in Bananas. A lovely little rhyme. What revolution were you thinking of, by the way?

structure
Written by Ostara (61 comments posted) 10th June 2005

Like the other reviewers, I enjoyed the theme and phrasing of this poem, although I am a little unsure of the structure. Is there a reason for it being laid out in this way? If you are trying to put emphasis on certain elements of the poem then that is fair - although it doesn't really come across to me that way. Perhaps it would benefit from trying a few different formats out, then reading them aloud?

The title is appropriate and highlights the positive side of the poem - the strength of the revolutionaries. The ending is moving and appropriate, although the introduction feels like it could belong ot a slightly longer poem. I am sure there is room for growth in this - do you agree?

Barricade
Written by maipenrai (783 comments posted) 10th June 2005

Thank you guys for your comments

StinkAlloy it is the Russian Revolution

Ostara, it is a short piece on purpose, just a short impact piece but i agree it could be taken further, ? ONE DAY

again thanks guys
Bernie

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