The first thing I noticed about Oli’s report was he was in  Tescos. It’s no good going there and complaining about the sort of people it attracts..
If you didn’t twig from their slogan “Every little helps” that it would get gormless  chavs and penny pinching pensioners and couples who don’t know the difference then I’m afraid it’s your own fault.  Any supermarket that offers 6 different types of pickled gherkin  but no fat- free fromage frais is clearly stating it’s customer preference in my book. Going to Tescos is like visiting an old ex. Your memory tells you it wasn’t that bad and he  had some good points but after about half an hour in his company you realise why you dumped him.
 
This is something men don’t realise; they think supermarkets are more or less the same, it’s only the branding and adverts that differ. We know the difference. I, and most of my friends, choose Sainsburys. Oh, gentle reader, it has it’s faults but at least it doesn’t turn you into a psychotic bunny boiler by the time you get to the check-out. The aisles are wider for a start so you can stop and chat without causing a blockage. And the assistants don’t treat you as if you had early on-set Alzheimer’s. And for the most part the customers there understand about supermarkets.
 
But, let’s face it most supermarkets are alien territory for men. They don’t know how to shop. You can tell by the way they hold the trolley. They stand  as far away from it as they can  as if they didn’t want it near them; steering it by fingertips and you notice that strange awkward walk they have; it’s like the hesitant walk that a male cat adopts when it knows it in another’s territory. And they take their  driving attitude with them i.e.  not needing directions and ignoring aisle signs so they have to make about three laps of the place before finding what they want:  of course this increases their likelihood of running into trolley blocks where women gather. As we know our way round and shop in half the time we can afford a little R and R on the way.
 I’ve noticed this refusal to check aisle signs can lead to embarrassment as when the man suddenly finds he is in “Toiletries” and faced with shelves of tampons he suddenly takes a fierce interest in the contents of his trolley nearly taking out the display of reading glasses. And of course if he careers into a woman’s trolley it must be her fault.
 
 The trouble is they don’t understand the point of supermarkets. I’ve seen men walk down the shampoo aisle and just pick up bottle- any bottle- without looking and drop it in. I mean, that’s not how you do it. Supermarkets provide a bewildering choice and the point is to study and compare, maybe even have a quick sniff; otherwise where’s the pleasure in all that choice? You wouldn’t walk into a car showroom, go up to the salesman and say “Any one will do, just give me the forms”
And  then at the  end of course we take time at the check out and take ages to pay ;don’t you men realise how endlessly fascinating the combination of  other people purchases are? It’s all part of the supermarket experience. If you think it is just about buying the groceries you’ve no business being there.