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Great Writing - Home > Extended > Let no man put asunder - chapter 2
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Extended Work
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| Let no man put asunder - chapter 2 | |
| By LynB | ||||
| 21 November 2006 | ||||
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Chapter 2 Although Donna was used to the long, lonely nights when Jon was away, she sometimes found it particularly trying, especially now she had four children to look after. Although she had particular needs, Emily was not too much trouble, but Rosie and Clare were both at an age where they had minds of their own, and could be very stubborn, often resulting in arguments. When she could not get through to them, sometimes all it took was a certain warning look from their daddy, and peace would reign once more. One particular night, she was having trouble getting them to bed, and her patience was beginning to wear very thin. Emily had been feeling under the weather, so she had already gone up, but Rosie and Clare were competing with each other to see who could make the most noise, and were refusing to go to bed. “Not going to bed!” announced Clare, folding her arms, and sitting down on the sofa, her face a picture of petulance. “Rosie go first!” “You’re going first!” retorted Rosie, making a move towards her. “I’m older than you, so you go first!” “I’m older than both of you, so I decide who goes first!” snapped Donna, trying not to raise her voice, as she did not want to wake the other two. “So, to save any arguments, you both go together!” “Do we have to, mummy?” said Rosie, her bottom lip beginning to tremble. “Daddy hasn’t rung yet!” “You can’t wait until daddy rings!” replied Donna, trying to maintain her sanity. “He may not ring until much later! He told you to go to bed like good girls, didn’t he? He told you to be good while he was away, didn’t he?” “He’s always away!” snapped Rosie, in an angry outburst that shocked Donna. “My friends’ daddies are always here to say goodnight to them, and read them a story. They give them a cuddle before they go to sleep, and a goodnight kiss!” “Daddy does tell you he loves you, and that he can’t wait to see you again!” said Donna, feeling her eyes burning with tears. “He’ll be back soon, you know he will! You must know how much he loves you! That’s why he works so hard, to give us everything we need! It’s not his fault he’s away so much – you should be proud of daddy – he makes a lot of people happy!” “I want him to make ME happy!” retorted Rosie, tears rolling down her face. “I want him to stay here, and cuddle me when I go to bed – he can’t do that over the ‘phone!” “You’re tired, young lady!” said Donna, picking her up. “Let’s get you to bed! You can talk to daddy in the morning! Come on, Clare, you can come to – then maybe I can have a little peace!” When the two girls were in bed, and sleeping peacefully, Donna had time to think about Rosie’s totally unexpected outburst. She had never reacted like this before, but now she was getting older, she had very definite opinions on everything, and she had obviously noticed that her friends’ fathers were there every night for them. The argument about being away because he was providing for them was lost on Rosie – all she knew was that she wanted her daddy there. She knew he had to be away sometimes – it just seemed that lately he was away quite a lot, and she felt she was missing out on something. Her train of thought was interrupted by the telephone ringing – she reached over to pick it up. Her eyes filled with tears as she heard that well loved voice in her ear. Even though she ached for his touch, she tried to keep her feelings hidden, as she did not want to give him any cause for concern while he was so far away. “I’m missing you, Donna!” he said, glad that she could not see the tears in his eyes. “I’m counting every second until I can come home! All the time I’m on that stage, you’re never out of my thoughts!” “I miss you, too!” she whispered, suddenly realising just how much. “Your children miss you, too! Rosie asked when you were coming home!” “I miss them, too!” he said, desperately trying to stop his voice from trembling. “I miss them so much, it hurts! I hope David doesn’t forget what I look like! I want him to know who his daddy is! Can I talk to them, Donna?” “Jon, it’s nearly ten o’clock! They’re all in bed! Didn’t you realise how late it was? Surely, you didn’t think they’d still be up now? They waited up for as long as they could, but eventually I had to make them go to bed! Rosie and Clare didn’t want to go, and I had a few tears from them, but nothing I couldn’t handle!” “I’m sorry, Donna!” She could tell he was close to tears now, it was becoming impossible to hide his feelings any longer. “It’s all my fault! It’s tearing me apart thinking that my children were waiting to talk to me, and I didn’t ring! I tried to find the time, Donna, but it wasn’t easy – everyone wanted a piece of me! I don’t like to turn people away, when they ask for a photo or an autograph – if it weren’t for them, I’d be nothing! I…..” “So..” said Donna, trying to keep her temper. “you couldn’t turn them away, when they wanted a photo and an autograph, even though they’d already been watching you all evening, but it was quite all right to keep your own children waiting to talk to you! They were so tired, but they were fighting to stay awake, just so they could talk to you – they’ve been waiting all day! In the end, I put them to bed, listening to them cry while they pleaded with me to let them stay up just a little longer! Emily wanted to talk to you desperately, she’s not very well, and…..” “Stop it, Donna!” His voice finally broke, despite his best efforts, and he began to sob. “It’s not fair! You’re breaking my heart, talking like this! The thought of my children crying for me is tearing me apart! What’s wrong with Emily? You said she was ill! What’s wrong with her?” “Please, love!” she said, her voice softening, her heart aching for him. “Please, don’t cry! You don’t need to worry about Emily, it’s only a cold! I shouldn’t have said what I did – it’s not your fault your work takes you away from home! I know you love us dearly, it’s just that we all miss you so much! I tried to hide it when you rang, but when I heard your voice it was just impossible! When I go to bed at night, I look out at the stars, and long to feel your arms around me….” “I’m looking at the same ones, Donna! Even though we’re miles apart, it’s the same moon and the same stars we’re looking at! Think of it that way – maybe then we might not miss each other so much!” There was silence for a minute or two, until Donna could stand it no longer. She knew he was struggling to control himself, and it was breaking her heart. She had been determined not to tell him what had been going on, but, eventually, partly through tiredness and partly through missing him so much, she had blurted it out – now she was regretting it. “Jon! Are you still there?” she said, feeling her eyes fill with tears. “Please, love! Talk to me!” “I’m still here!” he said, choking back the sobs that were rising in his throat, as he struggled with every conceivable emotion. “I want to come home, Donna, but I can’t – not yet! I know it’s hard for the children to understand, I wish there was a way of explaining it to them – why I have to be away!” “I don’t think there is!” said Donna, softly. “All they know is that you’re not here to kiss them good night, like other daddies do! I know it isn’t your fault, love, but try and see it from their point of view!” “I am! Oh God, I can’t think straight at the moment – I really don’t know what to think! It’s only a couple more nights, Donna, then I’ll be home! Do you think you can last out that long?” His attempt at humour backfired badly, as neither of them really felt like laughing. He had been trying to lighten things up a bit, but his heart was not really in it. “I’ve lasted this long!” she said, sharper than she had intended. “I think I can last two more nights! Anyway, I’m tired, so I’m going now – I’ll talk to you tomorrow! Goodnight!” Meanwhile, as he sat there staring at his mobile, listening to the dialling tone, tears rolling down his face, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Mike standing there. “What’s up, mate?” he said, his face a picture of concern. “Are you all right?” “She didn’t give me a chance to say ‘I love you’!” he said, his voice breaking. “She just hung up on me! I wanted to tell her I loved her, but she didn’t let me….” “Come on!” said Mike, gently, offering him a handkerchief from his pocket. “I think she already knows that! What’s on your mind – I know there’s something! Would it help to talk?” “I’ve done enough talking for one night!” he said, finally regaining his self control. “and it hasn’t got me anywhere!” “Well” said Mike, beginning to walk away. “If you change your mind, you know where I am!” Back at the hotel, he sat there alone in his room, thinking about what Donna had said – her words going round and round in his head. He really needed someone to talk to right now. He knew his parents were away on holiday, so that was not an option, then he realised – the one person he always turned to when he felt the whole world was on his shoulders was no longer there. Up until now, although he had grieved for Eileen, it had not really hit him that she was gone. She would have advised him, she would have known what to say – she always knew what to say. Her arms and her heart were always open – but not any more. He would never hear her voice again – filling him with strength when he needed it most. Suddenly he had never felt so alone in his life. Oh God, Eileen, he thought, where are you now when I need you? He consoled himself with the thought that she was watching over him, and that he could draw strength from the belief that she was always with him, even though he could not see her. Little did he know just how sorely tested his belief was going to be in the days that lay ahead….
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