Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Extended > Let no man put asunder - chapter 9
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1729 guests online and 6 members online |
Extended Work
| print friendly version | |
| Let no man put asunder - chapter 9 | |
| By LynB | ||
| 21 November 2006 | ||
|
Chapter 9 For just a split second, the counsellor and her receptionist stared at each other, then they rushed outside, in fear and dread at what they might see. As they drew closer, they could see a small group of people standing in the road – one man was shouting the odds, and one or two others were trying to calm him down. Jon was sitting on the kerb, shaking from head to foot, as one of the group, a young woman in her mid twenties, sat next to him, her arm around his shoulders, trying desperately to calm him down. She looked up at the car driver, who was still ranting, and said: “Don’t you think you’ve said enough? He didn’t run in front of your car on purpose! For God’s sake, try and show a bit of compassion!” “He scared the bloody living daylights out of me! You would’ve thought he’d know his Green Cross Code by now!” “What happened here?” said the counsellor, her gentle, quiet voice having an instant calming effect on all of them. “He ran straight out in front of my car! He came out of nowhere! I couldn’t help but hit him – but I only clipped him! I don’t think he’s hurt – he’s just in shock by the looks of him!” “I think you are, too! Why don’t you come into my office….” “No, it’s all right! My wife will drive me home! I didn’t mean to go on! It was the shock, that’s all!” After establishing that the driver was safely on his way home, the counsellor turned her attention to Jon. She knelt down next to him, and offered him her hand, once again inviting him to come with her. He stiffened at her touch, shaking his head, once again refusing her offer. She decided to try different tactics. “Well” she said, her voice remaining soft and calm. “If you don’t want to talk to me, at least come and have a cup of tea, and rest for a while. You’re in no fit state to drive at the moment! Come on! Come with me!” He looked doubtfully at the young lady next to him, as if seeking reassurance. She felt her eyes fill with tears at the stricken look on his face. “I think you should!” she said, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. “You shouldn’t drive just yet! You’ve had a nasty knock - at least go and have a cup of tea, and give yourself time to get over it!” As he slowly got to his feet, the dull ache in his hip suddenly began to throb mercilessly, and he felt the colour drain from his face. He felt his eyes begin to close, as he began to feel decidedly sick. “I – I’m going to pass out!” he said, unable to hide the panic in his voice. “No, you’re not!” said the counsellor, firmly, taking hold of one arm, and ordering her receptionist to take the other. “Let’s get you inside!” Realising that it was pointless arguing with her, he let the two women lead him back into the building. As he sat in the counsellor’s office, slowly sipping a cup of tea, desperately trying to stop his hands from shaking, she pulled up a chair and sat next to him. “Here – take these!” she said, offering him a couple of tablets. “They’ll make you feel better.” “What are they?” he said, eyeing them suspiciously. “They’re painkillers!” she replied, gesturing for him to take them. “What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?” “Why should I?” he said, reluctantly taking the tablets from her. “I don’t even know you!” “So, you wouldn’t believe me, if I said I only want to help you?” “Help? Why would I need your help? As soon as I’ve finished this cup of tea, I’m going home! You can’t make me stay here you know!” “Well” she said, trying to reason with him. “If you don’t need my help – why did you come here?” Quite unable to answer her, he looked at her helplessly, his eyes filling with tears. She had hit the nail on the head, but he did not want to admit it. He was fighting a losing battle with his self control, but he not want her to see. What he did not realise was that in her many years in the profession, the counsellor had met many people like him, who constantly denied they needed help, tried to bury their feelings. It often took a lot of gentle probing to get them to open up, and confide in her, and tell her their innermost feelings. “Come on, Jon!” she said, putting her hand on his. “I can see you’re in pain, but only you can tell me why! Talk to me – take your time! I’m willing to listen for as long as it takes!” “I don’t know!” he said, tears beginning to roll down his face, his pride out of the window. “I don’t know why! All I know is that I’m frightened, and angry! I shout at my wife and my children, and when I realise what I’ve done, I break down and cry! I feel so angry all the time –“ “Who are you angry with?” “No one! I’m just angry – all the time! It’s so hard to explain how I feel! It’s little things that set me off – like the baby crying, or my little girls making too much noise when they’re playing! It’s totally unreasonable, but I just can’t help myself! I feel the anger rising and rising, until I suddenly explode – then I hate myself for what I’ve done! The thing is, I don’t know what to do to put it right! My wife tries to help me, but I just shut her out! I know she loves me, but she can only take so much – I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and she’ll be gone! That scares me more than anything….” “Have you tried talking to your wife about how you feel? What did she say?” “She said – she said there was obviously something badly wrong, but she couldn’t deal with it! She said that sometimes I scared her! She said I needed help! I’ve lost count of the nights I’ve laid there awake, with all these awful thoughts going round and round in my head! What makes it even more frightening is that I don’t understand why it’s happening, and I can’t control it! I think I’m going out of my mind, and I don’t know what to do! I just can’t see a way out of it…..” He covered his face with his hands, shaking with virtually silent, but uncontrollable sobs. The counsellor put a gentle hand on his shoulder, and waited patiently for him to regain his composure. “There’s always a way out!” she said, softly, handing him a tissue from the box on the table. “and I’ll help you find it! Don’t hold back, dear – just let it out!” “I feel such a bloody fool –“ “Why?” “I don’t usually cry in front of total strangers! I usually have more self-control than this! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” “Why are you apologising? You’ve done nothing wrong! You’ve taken the first step, by admitting you have a problem – now we have to work out what’s causing it! Now, you told me you talked to your wife – and after she said she couldn’t deal with it, did you talk to anyone else before coming to me?” “No, I didn’t. I didn’t want to involve my mum – I mean, I’m a grown man and I should be able to sort my own life out! Anyway, besides her, I couldn’t think of anyone else who would understand!” “No one at all? No one outside the family? Didn’t you try talking to a friend, or a neighbour? Someone who wasn’t too involved, maybe? There’s someone I always talk to when the going gets a bit rough – she’s my next-door neighbour, and the best friend anyone could wish for! She always makes me feel that things aren’t as bad as they seem!” “There was someone” he said, trying desperately to control the tremor in his voice. “Eileen….” “Who is Eileen?” “Our next door neighbour! She was like yours – I could tell her anything, and she’d always understand!” “Was?” “She died just over three months ago! I miss her so much! I’ll never forget –“ “Never forget what, Jon?” she prompted, her hand on his arm. “What were you going to say?” “I’ll never forget how I found her! I went in to take her some of my daughter’s birthday cake, and she was asleep in her chair – only she wasn’t! She looked as if she was asleep, she looked really peaceful, and I didn’t want to wake her! I left the cake on her coffee table, but when I turned around I knocked an ornament on the floor, and it smashed. I apologised to her, but she still didn’t wake up! I decided to leave her in peace, so I leaned over to kiss her! She wasn’t breathing! Her face felt really cold – almost icy! I shook her, almost as if by some miracle, that would make her wake up, and breathe again! She wouldn’t wake up! She just sat there in that chair, so cold and still! Every time I close my eyes, I can see her – I just can’t get it out of my head! No matter how I try, it just goes round and round, and I can’t get it out! I just want to get it out! Help me get it out, please, help me….” He looked at her helplessly, as the tears that had been threatening ever since he had sat down, suddenly took complete control of him. She gently rubbed his back as he lay his head on her shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. He tried to talk, but he was too distraught to talk coherently. Eventually, he managed to force the words out. “Why did she have to leave me? She knew how much I loved her! Why did she have to go when she knew how much I loved her! It’s not fair! It’s not bloody fair! She left me without even saying goodbye – just how selfish can you get! Oh, I didn’t mean that, I don’t know what I’m saying… oh God……” She did not answer him, but just thought to herself, in that one anguished outburst, he had told her, without even realising, the very cause of all his pain. It had been buried inside him for so long, but now it was out in the open, she could begin the long, hard task of helping him come to terms with it.
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|