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Poetry
Others' Sorrows
By Evangeline
05 June 2005
Lay down the load of others' sorrows.
Your back it should not bend.
For on the morrow,
You shall be on the mend.

People have been so wrong.
No matter what I say,
They sing that tired old song.
And, treat you the same old way.

They didn't appreciate the burdens you shared.
When their day was bad,
Never noticed how much you cared.
Nor, did they spare a thought that you might be sad.

To them, I do beseech,
Stop the games, it's all in your head.
Cease being a leech.
Or, kindly, drop dead.

Reviews
short & sweet .......
Written by Bagheera (679 comments posted) 13th September 2005
This goes much deeper then it might at first glance seem. 
My instinct would be to remove the , commas in the last line of verses 2 and (probably) 3 - unless you want to emphasise the deliberate lengthening of the last line in verse 3?? 
For much the same reason I might think about using (brackets) instead of the 2 commas around "kindly" in the last verse. 
Stay happy, Evangeline - we're all rooting for you and everyone else in New Orleans!! :grin
very true
Written by piperlawrence (16 comments posted) 22nd March 2006
This poem is extremely true in my mind, especially with friends or people that you're close to. It's very good and I think that I as a writer, and not poet, can not in any way critisice it, but I can truly say that it is well-written and identifies well with the reader. You seem to have a flare for poetry. Keep it up.

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