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Poetry
Hairy Face
By Tenchi
22 November 2006
Hmmm I tried writing a jokey poem late one night.

It didn't work.

Hard as I try I can't seem to get this to work, but I just feel that my beard deserves a poem to itself.

See if your suggestions can save it! Or at least put it out of it's misery.

Why the beard? My colleagues ask

You were ugly enough before

My answering smile hides how I tire

and I long for their presence no more

 

If we were close I would tell them the truth

But I think it would bore them protracted

That love I compare to the pain of a tooth

So I mean to remain unattractive

 

They’ll never now how deeply you sank

Your venomous fangs into me

you took my heart all the way to the bank

safety desposited and chucked away the key

 

No dentist or barber shall touch me again

and none shall pardon the way that I smell

Deep as the seas I’ll hold in my pain

and no other like you shall put me through hell

 

So no, I won’t shave, bedamned you spanners!

Cause truth is I care for you nowt, not at all

Go somewhere else, wave your sympathy banners        

Instead of waiting around to see if I'll fall

 

It’s my pain that I’ll visit upon you

Taking it out as I find thee

Every beard related question accrues

my sorrows, you bastards remind me

 

The woman you see lingers on and within

the inescapable throb of a filling

and my capable beard that grows o'er my chin
says ladies you see I'm not willing!

It says if I wanted a woman to hold
I'd shave off my facial hair and be bald
Take heed of the bristles, the stubble, the beard!
Falling in love is what I most fear.

Reviews

Written by Garrulous (108 comments posted) 22nd November 2006
Let it go man. Let it go. 
 
As for the beard, unless it's going to be ginger and unkempt it just ain't worth it. 
 
Gar. :grin

Written by Clifftown (620 comments posted) 23rd November 2006
I personally think that for this poem to "work" you need to change its perspective. There's obviously a lot of emotion in it, so I think it would be hard to make it jokey and lighthearted, it seems at odds with what you're actually writing about. 
 
Just my humble opinion... 

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