Wanda and the weasels - Part 1

A weasel is a small very agile animal with a long sinuous body that lives wild in many parts of Britain. A weasel is also the name given to sly and treacherous people. But the weasels think that they have had a bad press because of this and they are in a right strop about it, so be careful what you say out there in the countryside or you might just run into a spot of weasel bother like Wanda did.

Wanda gets a taste of wood mud magic

It had been a nice morning and Wanda had played with her best friend Jill but just as they were walking home through the little wood that bordered the edge of town Jill had made an ill thought out comment and Wanda had just exploded.
“You slimy, lying, smelly, scheming….scheming weasel !!” She shrieked at her new worst enemy.
“Says you !” Jill had retorted.
“I hate you !” Wanda screamed at her
“And I hate you.” Jill had screamed back even louder and then run off.
“Weasel, weasel ! Smelly smelly weasel !!” Wanda shouted at her diminishing back.
“Smelly weasel ?” A little high pitched voice said but Wanda didn’t notice it, she was sucking in more air to hurl further insults.
“We aint smelly is we Griff ?” The voice asked peevishly.
“No we certainly aint smelly Niff.” A second little voice answered boldly. “Who says we is smelly Niff ?”
“A Hyoomin Griff.”
“A Hyoomin.” Griff said nodding his head rapidly. “It figures. Hyoomins think they know it all Niff.”
“Yeah, idiots Hyoomins.” Niff replied scratching behind his left ear. “We aint smelly, they is.” He took a loud sniff of the air. “Cor ! What has that Hyoomin bin eatin’ ?”
“Yeah talk about pot callin kettle black.” Griff groused as he put his paws on the log in front of him and peered up through the brambles at the towering figure.
“Yeah.” Niff agreed. “Ere, wass a kettle then ?”
“You stoopid ?” Griff grunted. “Everyone knows what a kettle is.”
“Oh.” Niff said feeling very stupid.
“Now what we gonna do about this Hyoomin ? Can’t have it callin’ us bad things.”
“Needs cuttin’ down to size.” Niff agreed with a nod.
“Thass it.” Griff announced brightly. “Take this Hyoomin down a peg or two, let it know whats whats eh.”
“Yeah.” Niff said enthusiastically then frowned. “How ?”
“A bit of magic mud I reckon.” Griff replied. “There’s a patch just back there.” He continued with a twitch of his tail to indicate a dark brown boggy hollow.
“You get a pawful of that and when I tells you, let it ‘ave it right between the eyes.”
“Righto.” Niff said happily and lithely scampered to the edge of the bog to dip his paws into the gooey brown mess. “Cor. Luvverly.”
“Ready ?” Griff called out.
“Ready.” Niff called back and sat upright to take aim, it would be a tough throw but he was a weasel and weasels rarely missed.
“Weasels is as weasels does, make this Hyoomin same as us.” Griff chanted as he cast the wood magic up at Wanda. “Now !”
“Hup !” Niff grunted as he threw the little ball of mud up, up, up and plop !
Wanda had just opened her mouth wide to shout her latest barrage of insults at Jill and hadn’t the faintest idea of what was going on down in amongst the brambles just in front of her. In fact the first she knew of it was when something cool and wet landed right in her mouth and went straight down her throat. Suddenly she was swallowing and coughing and thinking that she had swallowed a fly or something. But there was a strange taste in her mouth, sort of leafy but in an old squishy rotted leafy sort of way, just a bit musty. That wasn’t the only thing that she was aware of. The trees seemed to be growing right in front of her wide open eyes, faster and faster until they stopped quite suddenly and she was feeling giddy. It wasn’t just the trees that had grown, the bushes now towered over her and the brambles sent great arches high into the air, their thorny stems thicker than her arms.
As if this wasn’t scary enough she now heard voices coming out of the brambles.
“The eyes Niff, right between the eyes I said.” One voice said huffily.
“Jus’ where I aimed. Its not my fault if the Hyoomin decides to open its bloomin’ big mouf is it ?” A second replied peevishly.
“Err, hello.” Wanda said very timidly.