Okay, I'll admit it -- writing as therapy. And this is not for kids, it's for parents. Or rather it is for those poor parents who've made something delicious and wholesome and had some undeserving little person say 'What's that? I don't like it.'
Opinions, please -- and be brutal! My kids really did not like this poem, quite aside from the obvious reasons . . .
Picky Eater
I don’t want my chicken, potatoes or peas
What I like is donkey brains broasted with fleas
Spaghetti with meatballs? No thanks, not for me
I’m having boiled boogers and cobwebs for tea
Baked beans on toast? Yuck! I’m not touching that
When I can have snake-guts and worms a la rat.
And pizza? No way – put it back in the box
I’d rather have bat wings and slug slime on rocks.
I won’t eat your carrots, your mushrooms, your eggs
Bring me fried cockroaches, steamed lizards’s legs!
Just take back your fish fingers, take back your roast
‘Cause I want fresh centipedes, crushed up, on toast
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Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 25th November 2006 |
My sympathies. My two were both wonderful eaters when younger, but now become fussier by the day. Drives me insane.
Liked the poem. I know you say you wrote this for parents, but I think quite a few of the children I teach would enjoy this. (10/11 year old)
If you want me to give it a whirl with them, let me know and I'll get back to you.
All the best,
Phil. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 25th November 2006 |
As the proverbial fussy eater when younger, this gave me a wry smile...I think I must have spent months over my childhood picking microscopic pieces of mushroom out of Spag Bol and egg out of fish pie  Much to my mother's annoyance, now I am providing for myself I'll eat almost all of the stuff I wouldn't touch as a child-she thinks I do it on purpose...
Elli |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 25th November 2006 |
Thank you, Phil and Elli.
Yes, please, Phil -- do try this on the kids in your class and get their reactions! My cynical 12-year-old says 'Hmmm.'
I was a terribly picky eater too. My father grew avocados and brought home hundreds of them. I refused to touch them. The year I moved away from home, I developed a taste for them, much to his exasperation.
My kids are actually better eaters than I was, but still pick the mushrooms out of their food, Elli -- even tiny little fragments.
The inspiration for this poem came from a friend my youngest invited over. This child asked what was for tea, and I said 'Do you like spaghetti with tomato sauce?' She said yes in a guarded way, then refused to eat the spaghetti sauce because it had tomatoes in it. Well crushed ones, mind you -- no icky bits of stem! The next time this child came over for tea she asked what was on offer and I said 'Broasted giraffe eyeballs with bumblebee spit.' Lest you think I'm cruel, she actually got the joke and we still have fun with different 'recipes.' |
Delicacies
Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
Except for the boogers, fleas, cobwebs, and slugs' slime I think all of these things are actually eaten by people somewhere on earth. So they may actually be tasty if prepared the right way 
I echo the comments above... They'll grow to like your tomatos eventually. |
Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
| My son eats boogers! Dirty little swine that he is. Stil, I'd rather he did that than wipe them on the sofa. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
| I am pretty sure my kids do this too. Which reminds me of a great joke: Q. What is the difference between a brussel sprout and a booger? A. You cannot make a child eat a brussel sprout. |
Pure (or impure) coincidence
Written by patterjack (1060 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
My wife quoted a child's rhyme to me yesterday -- one that to her amazment I hadn't heard before . If you are old enough , you'd recognise the tune for it :
Everybody's doing it doing it doIng it
Picking their nose and chewing it chewing it chewing it
In my slang background a booger is , I think , called a bogie that is , if a booger is what i think it is .
And do you know the smoked oyster up the nostril trick ?
patterjack |
Pure (or impure) coincidence
Written by patterjack (1060 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
My wife quoted a child's rhyme to me yesterday -- one that to her amazment I hadn't heard before . If you are old enough , you'd recognise the tune for it :
Everybody's doing it doing it doIng it
Picking their nose and chewing it chewing it chewing it
In my slang background a booger is , I think , called a bogie that is , if a booger is what i think it is .
And do you know the smoked oyster up the nostril trick ?
patterjack |
Written by patterjack (1060 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
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oops
Written by patterjack (1060 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
My vulgarity as well as an interruption from my better 9/8 ths got me all excited and i jbbed the keyoard twice . Sorry
patterjack |
Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 27th November 2006 |
Bogie in Yorkshire too.
Tell us about the smoked oyster up the nostril trick.
Phil. |
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 18th February 2007 |
I thought it was funny Witzl! I know kids (and adults too) who eat bogies ... ergh ... and I also know the tune patterjack is quoting AND with those words too. Damn, I'll have it in my head all day now.
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