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Shorts
Viking raid
By Fledermaus
25 November 2006
Just practicing

Foam splashed over the bow as the boat cut through the great North Sea. Pulleys rattled, the mast creaked, and over their heads the seagulls cried. Eric grabbed the railing and leant forward, trying to see what was ahead of them, but as far as he could see there was naught but grey waves.
Yet the birds above them were proof that they approached the coasts. He touched the blade of his axe and caressed the cold iron. They were near the green island, and soon they would see its muddy beaches.
" Land!"
Like the other idle men, Eric stared at the horizon to see if he could spot what the watch had seen. Hills rose where heaven touches earth and soon he could count their summits.

They sailed into a bay. The water got lighter and the waves smaller. A horn was blown and the captain gestured at the sculpture which lay at the deck. Eric laughed and cast aside his axe. Together with the other warriors he lifted the wooden beast and they hauled it to the bow. Then the dragon's head was placed and fastened where it belonged.

The church bell was sounded. Its heavy strokes resounded through the morning's mist. Nuala tossed the clothes she had been washing into the basket and she looked at the tower anxiously. Then a man came running towards the river, waving his arms.
" The vikings! The vikings are comming!"
The women screamed and ran away from the shore. Some picked up their baskets, but most left them on the bank. Nuala hesitated, but when she watched towards the sea, she thought she could make out the silhouette of a ship. She turned around and started running. It was better to loose a dress than to loose a life.

They landed quietly. The drakkar just slid onto the beach and the men jumped over the railing. Eric clasped his beloved axe and ran towards the noisy tower. He wanted to be the first to enter the treasure hall, the first to get his plunder. But Bjornhelm was faster. Dressed in nothing but a bear's skin, the giant overtook him. He waved his sword and howled like a wolf. A swift glance at the berserker's face showed Eric that he had been drinking the magician's brew. His eyes were red and his veins were swollen.

" Hide, hide!"
Nuala ran into the pigsty and climbed onto the garret. She crowled into a corner and tried to disappear into the darkness. She could still hear the bell and the voices of the men outside. They had prepared themselves for battle. She had seen the nobles with their swords and spears, but most of the villagers had grabbed their pitch-forks, hammers, knives and axes.

Eric jumped over a low wall and saw his way obstructed by a dozen peasants. They pointed their weapons at him and shouted. He felt how the blood rushed to his cheeks and he growled. His axe struck a pitch-fork's wood, and an instant later a churl's blood splashed over Eric's hands.
Something pierced his calf and as the pain burned in his leg, it unleashed his fury. He chopped and hewed, slashed and hacked and soon his clothes were soaked with blood.

Nuala felt the tears roll over her cheeks and she braced herself to stop the trembling. She heard the cries of men and beasts. Familiar voices made sounds she didn't want to hear. She knew of no one who had ever driven the demons back into the sea.

Eric followed a peasant into a pigsty and struck him down with a blow of his fist. He looked around, but when he couldn't find another opponent, he felt how his anger began to fade. He waited, but it seemed he was alone...

Nuala heard the squealing pigs beneath her and she tried to lay as still as possible. She knew that there was still at least one man downstairs, and she could only guess if he was villager or Viking.

Eric looked around. He had found these pigs, so they were his. Perhaps not as good as gold, but he knew that Bjornhelm and his men were still trying to force the stone building's door open. At least he already had some booty. He looked at the ladder in the corner.

Nuala shivered. What would a Viking do with her? Would he slay her? Or worse? She closed her eyes and tried not to think of the stories she had heard.

Eric shrugged. What was he doing in a pigsty? The real loot was inside the stone building. He grinned and stept outside. They would take the gold and then sail home.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6388 comments posted) 26th November 2006
I'm beginning to think of you as the 'historical' writer. You must be well read, learned or a good bull-shitter because these pieces always have a smack of reality about them. 
 
Although well written, this wasn't one of my favourites, mainly due to the (what I felt) was a weakish ending. I'm not saying I wanted the girl despoiled or anything, but what does happen doesn't live up to the build up you crafted so well.  
 
Sp: comming - coming. 
 
Sorry to sound negative. 
 
I think given an ending with more impact this would be a fine piece. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil. 
 

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 26th November 2006
"I'm beginning to think of you as the 'historical' writer. You must be well read, learned or a good bull-shitter because these pieces always have a smack of reality about them." 
 
Watching National Geographic channel also helps, but yes, I like to read about history and mythology. I usually try to stay close to what I know, but sometimes I may get carried away a little. 
 
Where this story is concerned, I do know that berserkers dressed in bearskins, if they wore anything at all, and that they used some 'magical' potion to induce a frenzy.  
Also the sculptured dragon heads were adjusted at sea (as it was forbidden to sail into their home ports with these attatched to the bow). 
But how exactly they landed, where local people would flee to, and how the plunder was devided, I don't know. 
 
About the end... I wasn't sure myself either. At first I wanted Eric to drag Nuala back to Denmark, but somehow I got a bit sentimental I guess ;) 
 
Never mind, I'll try to write something better next time. Thanks for your comment 
 
:)

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th November 2006
I really enjoyed this story, and I liked the ending -- the girl so close to being kidnapped but escaping the fate. I just wish that you could have done a little more with it.  
 
I love all the historical detail: I found myself wanting to know what soap the women were using to wash the clothes, what the clothes were made of, etc. Back then when you had to make all your own clothing and often the fabric it was made from too, losing a dress was a real misfortune.  
 
What I find fascinating is that so many of us, whether we like it or not, have among our ancestors these marauding Vikings. As a child, I went through a keen Viking phase -- wanted to know everything about them, their ships, etc.  
 
Do keep these coming!

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 27th November 2006
Thank you Witzl. 
I guess I never got out of my Viking phase :grin

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 28th November 2006
I too like the Viking phase :) Interesting as always 
 
E

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 29th November 2006
Thanks Elli.
An old peice.
Written by Tusk (53 comments posted) 5th March 2007
I was just browsing through your works and this was my first choice. 
I don't want to bombard you with more compliments but... I thought a vicious ending would have been predictable and boring. You really created the thrill of the hunt and the vulnerable terror. There can be a sequel, you've already created three strong characters. 
You could have thrown some monks and christianity into the story, as you mentioned the church and that would have been where the loot was. Could have been longer aswell.

Written by Fledermaus (3159 comments posted) 6th March 2007
Thanks John. 
I think I didn't have an idea about the end until I arrived where Eric enters the pigsty. He could have dragged her back to Denmark, but I'm glad you liked the end as it is. 
Maybe I can write something about monks and christianity another time, for somehow I think this won't be the last Viking story I have written.

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