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Poetry
VIHAAN
By JohnnyD
26 November 2006
'Vihaan' in Sanskrit means 'The Rising Sun'. Vihaan is also my friend Ramana' 2-year-old son. The metaphor, I have used describes my understanding of the two in my own way.

 
VIHAAN

 
Advent of yet another new creation

As bundle of energy gets unleash

An experience to watch it arrive

As it fills joy and life in the world

 
Horizon lights up

Lives come alive

Sweet melodies surround the world

As birds spread wings to fly

 
A new day arrives

Hope fills the heart

Expecting happiness

Anticipation doesn’t disappoint

 
Colours play hide n seek in sky

Peeping through the horizon

Energy takes charge

As faces smile with new vigour

 
Johnny D

25th November 2006

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 26th November 2006
Johnny, I've got to admire you for the effort you are making to change your style. Top marks for that, but still some way off good poetry, at least for me. 
 
I like the idea. (I'm quite envious of your knowledge of different languages) 
 
Some of your lines seem a liitle note like, as if this is a very rough first draft - that may be the case. I think (and it's only my opinion - I could be entirely wrong) that you should develop each idea a little more. 
 
Hope this is of use. 
 
Perhaps someone who knows more about poetry than I will leave a comment. 
 
Phil.

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