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Poetry


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Sad Thoughts

By peeano1

27 November 2006

I interviewed my grandmother in 6th grade over winter break for a project. This was something I wrote that originated from a very short Vietnamese folktale. It's very simple and once again, very, very short.

“Vi Nho Ma Buon” (in Vietnamese)

Dem qua ra dung bo o,

Trong ca ca lan, trong sao saomo.

Buon trong con nhen giang to,

Nhen oi, nhen hoi, nhen cho moi ai.

“Sad Thoughts” (translated in English with extra add-on)

Last night I went to the pond side,1

I looked at the fish, the fish dove,2

I looked at the stars, the stars dimmed.3

Saddened I looked at the spider weaving his net,4

Spider, spider, what prey are you waiting for?5

He only grinned and continued to weave.6

My dear sweet one, it is only those who are foolish that I wait.7

Confused, I approached the spider. 8

And why is that? I ask.9

For those who are foolish can gladly be good company to me.10

Even more confused, I flew closer to the spider.11

And why would they be good company?12

He only smiled in response.13

Just then, a thin silky substance of the spider's string caught my wing.14

Struggling, I attempted to pull myself out of it15

But instead, I became what the spider had waited for16

A tasty midnight snack of his own.17

Reviews

hurrah
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 27th November 2006

...for bilingual fun! Reading this after gerard's rather harsh review on kitten_princess' french work, I still can't understand why he was so negative.

It amazes me that it takes so long in english what only takes a few lines in vietnamese. A nasty little story

good stuff

clo

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 27th November 2006

I am wondering what the moral of this story is! 'Don't ask too many questions? Don't be too curious? It is interesting in light of the research that is now being done (in Scotland, I believe) on the proteins in spider webs.

This really is a clever little story, and you did a good job expressing it.

Written by Talisker (1300 comments posted) 27th November 2006

Curiosity killed the gnat!

I like this - a nice touch of a different culture - a fun and thought provoking piece.

Well done riLlie

Oli

riLie?
Written by Talisker (1300 comments posted) 27th November 2006

I meant Peeano, sorry - too many reviews!

Oli :grin

Written by peeano1 (86 comments posted) 27th November 2006

Thanks everybody!

Written by Phil (6393 comments posted) 27th November 2006

Well done Peeano. I liked this too. Yo could sort of see the end coming, but I enjoyed it nevertheless.

Much better edited. Makes it much easier to read. 'Wait' (line 7) should be 'await?' Good improvement.

All the best,

Phil.

I see my name...
Written by rilLie (324 comments posted) 29th November 2006

anyway.. love the poem and the story with it. :grin

I love doing bilingual poems as well! adds to fun! :grin

keep writing,
rilLie

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