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Poetry
The giant
By whitewolf
06 June 2005

THE GIANT                   

 
 

Squally wind. A ghostly army

Sweeps upon the sleeping sea,

Goading, prodding relentlessly.

The rhythmic breath

Of the sleeping giant is disturbed.

His green depths slowly stirred

Into sluggish anger.

Waves form like goose flesh then,

Small and choppy upon his skin.

Fully awake the giant shrugs

His mighty shoulders and rises

From the depths.

Ships behold this awesome sight,

They see his anger at its height

And in reverence bow.

Spiteful winds that nip and bite

And lift the seaweed of his hair 

Until the giant can no longer bear

The hostile thrusts

And in frustration twists and turns,

Around him icy water churns

Like bubbles in a cauldron..

Then with powerful roar he thunders in

Towards the shore,

And hurls his body in torrid fury

At all that stand before

His angry might.

He throws white dappled arms

Towards the dark and leaden sky

As if to implore someone on high

To stop the torturous wind,

Then will crash in wild despair

Earthbound, back to where

Rocks sweep the edge of sand.

Foam is the death froth on his lips

It issues forth,

Hissing a dying sigh, the giant moves and slips

Across the darkened sand

Bursting bubbles crack and disappear

The giants force is spent.

The sea is calm.

 

Reviews
performance piece
Written by kevinrobson73 (371 comments posted) 6th June 2005
i liked it 
had to be read twice 
not sure about the title 
perhaps "power sea tide summat" 
otherwise fairly strong 
good imagery 
no killer lines /clever analogy going on 
would be good in a compilation 
not a stand out stand alone piece 
suggest introduction of some really compelling lines

Written by whitewolf (7 comments posted) 6th June 2005
thanks kevin 
 
not one of my best I admit. But thanks for the review. :grin

Written by Faux (3 comments posted) 8th June 2005
I liked it. But I believe it went on too long. It began to feel a bit tiresome as I read on. I think this is great because it is building character and maintaing tone and actually holding a point. A reviewer mentioned no killer lines...I disagree, because instead of seeing the poem as separate lines, I saw it as the entire poem was one killer one in a sense. Sometimes those "killers" are more valuable or entertaining than the poem as a whole. 
 
One area I found problematic: "Spiteful winds that nip and bite" 
 
I believe you can safely remove "that" and have a more powerful line. 
 
Also, was there any structure to your rhyme schemes? Just wondering, because you jump from: Two rhymes, rest one line, two rhymes, rest two lines, two rhymes, rest, rhyme, rest -- 
 
If you get where I'm coming from.  
 
Keep writing.

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