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Soap, more soap.
Her hands were aching, the skin ripped from her flesh, but she had to continue, to wash it off.
She gritted her teeth. One more minute, then she'd stop. She rubbed her palms against eachother, bubbles splashed against the mirror. 59 seconds, 58... The little finger, the back of her left hand. Little time was left.
The soap slipped out of her hands and fell to the ground. She didn't pick it up. 45 seconds, 44. Every milimeter, nanometer, every single molecule had to be washed, or else...
White foam dripped from her fingers, she turned the tap on. Steam filled the bathroom and she pushed her hands into the boiling stream, rubbing furiously. The water burned her, but she had to go on. It was better to have pain now than to suffer later. 9, 8, 7, 6...
She withdrew her hands and turned it off. Her skin was red and wrinkled, but it smelled sweet and it was clean. She had defeated the disgusting germs... This time. Carefully she walked to the dryer and she touched the button with her elbow. The warm wind killed the last bacteria. At last she was safe again. She walked over to the door and waited. There was no sound in the corridor, and the door was closed. She pulled her sleeve over her hand and tried to turn the knob, but she couldn't get a good grip. She hesitated and swallowed.
Then she touched the doorknob with her fingers, grabbed it and turned it quickly. She threw the door open and placed her foot against the wood. A moment later she was outside and it fell closed behind her.
She stared at the fingers with which she had touched the doorknob. Who knew who had touched it before her? She had to wash her hands again. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 27th November 2006 | Good little story, but I would change 'skin ripped from her flesh' to 'the skin red and inflamed' or '. . .raw and broken.' I know someone with an obsessive/compulsive disorder like this, and his skin is not so much ripped from his flesh as it is badly inflamed from all the washings.
One more pedantic point: obsessive/compulsives know all about the doorknob before they get to it. They use their sleeves, paper towels, skirts -- or whatever to keep from touching that tainted knob or handle. I think I'd have her use a sleeve, but have her hand accidentally make contact with the doorknob anyway. |
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 27th November 2006 | Thanks witzl.
I think you're right that that line may be a bit exaggerated indeed. Just pretend that's how she feels it. Maybe it started bleeding 
As for the dooknob: I had to get her on the other side with 'dirty' hands. If her hand would have slipped out of her sleeve before she had turned it, she would have gone back washing her hands again and still be in the bathroom. So -in retrospect of course- I guess she thought she could handle it, or she just paniced that she was locked up... |
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 27th November 2006 | A good short. I'm with Witzl on the 'skin ripped from her flesh' point.
Made me worry reading this. I'm not freaky about cleanliness, but I won't touch toilet door handles. So it begins.
All the best,
Phil. |
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 27th November 2006 | Thanks Phil.
And don't worry. I think it's a hereditary. |
Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 28th November 2006 | This is really effective writing, you've packed a real punch in such a short story.
I think there's a little of this type of behaviour in all of us, not to this extreme but I'm certainly familiar with not wanting to touch door handles after washing my hands!
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3174 comments posted) 28th November 2006 | I think you managed a lot in a short piece by getting into the mindset of these poor people It must be awful to suffer like that., reminds me of that film "As good as it gets"
cheers
J |
Written by ellyb39 (79 comments posted) 28th November 2006 | | It seems like the panicked feeling does come over well here, will definitly feel a little different about public toilet door handles after reading and digesting this! thanks ellyb |
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 28th November 2006 | Thanks Cliffton, BBS and Elly.
A strange and horrible disease indeed. Always scared... and the saddest thing is that most people suffering from it know they are acting ridiculously, but stopping it is too hard. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 29th November 2006 | Interesting sketch. I agree with the points witzl raised. Definitely food for thought though.
Elli |
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 29th November 2006 | | Thanks Elli... |
Written by Hellcat (53 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | That is the best short I've had the pleasure of reading for a while. The skin ripping part was abit off but everything else, jeez - made me wanna read more and more and more,lol.
I liked that she used her sleeve first then her hands, thinking she could handle it yet failed.......I really felt for her.
You have a mountain of talent, man. |
Written by Fledermaus (3160 comments posted) 4th January 2008 | Thanks Hellcat 
The painful irony is that the only way for her to beat it is to do exactly what she fears most  |
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