The dichotomy of despising behaviour, yet finding it amusing to watch on telly.
The town shines like costume jewels,
all plated tin and mirrored glass,
waiting for the wide eyed fools,
the pugilistic underclass.
The girls come in gaudy knots
Yapping like excited geese,
tugging skirts that they forgot,
Hi Kylie! Hi Caprice!
Then the boys in monkey troops.
Knuckle dragging Burberry apes.
Testosterone fueled grunts and whoops.
Infantile jokes and japes.
Press fast forward, two a.m.
Three slashed faces, four date rapes,
Who am I that I condemn?
Noone. I just watch the tape.
Oli 28/11/06
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Written by Fledermaus (3246 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Sounds like an usual night in any city centre... Give them bread and games and they are quiet.
It's often so easy to see who's there to cause trouble, yet some people are to drunk to see it.
Not one of your best poems, but certainly enjoyable. |
Written by Clifftown (619 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Absolutely loved this, especially the image of the town shining like "costume jewels". Unfortunately you could have been describing my beloved hometown of Southend-on-Sea, Essex on a Saturday night...
I get transfixed watching those Booze Britain programmes, it's car crash TV at its very worst (or best, depending on how you look at it!)  |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Gee, I miss all of this not watching t.v. What is Booze Britain?
I thought this poem was superb. It isn't common to find rhyming poems with contemporary themes -- what about submitting this to the Star Poetry Competition when they run it again? (They publish rhyming poetry which deals with modern issues.)
Loved the knuckle-dragging Burberry apes. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
I liked
'tugging skirts that they forgot'
very much. Kinda dark Oli-you catching my disease? I liked it although it didn't make me gasp the way 'Priest' did.
E |
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Thanks peeps,
The "burberry apes" thing I used years ago - a poser guy at work was going on holiday to Gibraltar - I said "Jeez, the Burberry ape meets the barbary apes" - I thought "thats good, I'll use it sometime!"
Elli, glad you liked that line, I always think "what's the point of wearing a "belt skirt" then spending all evening trying to make it cover your bits? Just put on something decent to start with! But then, I'm getting old and boring!
Thanks all!
Oli  |
Written by shakermaker (48 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Sums up the whole laddish, binge drinking culture that the girls seem to be embracing too these days.
Very good, although I'd have liked a few more verses. |
So true..
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Then the boys in monkey troops.
Knuckle dragging Burberry apes.
...love it.
Enjoyed this.
E
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Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 28th November 2006 |
Utterly and completely depressing in its truth, and I've never even seen Booze Britain - but I don't think I need to - I've seen the real thing.
As above, unusual to find a rhyming poem about contempory issues (unless it's one of those very average Zebidiah Whatshisname things.)
Someone mentioned the length of this. I like it as it is but there is plenty of scope to play out scenes of despairing, charmless dick-headedness between the start of the night and two am. Perhaps that would have been too depressing.
-An aside- In my youth we all went out, got pissed, there were fights, but I don't think anyone actually went looking for them. A bit of charm would often smooth the drunken waters. Violence seems a code of honour worn as a badge today. If you've not been out and twatted a couple of moshers, goths, queers etc - it's not been a good night. (Twatted - their word, not mine.) Maybe I'm just showing my age and hankering after a past that only exists in my imagination. (I don't think that's it)
Sorry Oli, back to the poem. Liked it very much. As Elli, didn't have the power of 'Priest,' but certainly made me think.
All the best,
Phil. |
Lovely work, Oli
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 29th November 2006 |
And as usual a verbal and technical entertainment, but dear, oh dear. I do hope you have not joined the ranks of the everlasting judgemental Elect that seem to inflict neigh on every other posting and review on this site of late with opinionated cant and humbug. Christ in King Billy's Socks! I can't log on here without some moosehead on his or her soapbox tells me the end of the world is at hand. Beware poets- or any writers for that matter- in the pulpit. Next off we'll be having Sankey and Moody on Non Fiction. Some of the reviews would be better suited to an SSRC Conference rather than a creative writing site. Whatever happened to the writer of ' In Puris Naturalibus?' . Much more my kind of thing. I do hope soberiety does not signify sour faced censoriousness. If I want a lecture from Melanie Phillps I'll buy the Daily Mail. [ My arse in aspic! ]
That said it was nonetheless for me a witty and engaging piece of verse. Well done. Any chance of a touch of humanity next time? You are much more convincing at that.
My compliments.
Slan! |
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 29th November 2006 |
Back in the real world GC, we worry about such things, probably Saffron Walden is unaffected. If I were writing merely for GC's gratification I would take heed and post something more suitable for his delectation.
A masterclass in how to couch faint praise in an opprobrious diatribe.
The answer is (of course) that we write as our mood finds us. Sometimes through the round window, sometimes the square, on rare occasions the arched, and more often these days flying through the f*cking thing with splintered face and bleeding eyes!
Oli  |
Written by sam_duke (19 comments posted) 5th April 2007 |
| Biting and provocative. Some would hurl insults at you for this, and call you elitist, snobbish and judgemental - but it doesn't get away from the fact that you are absolutely right. |
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