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Poetry


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False Prophet

By ellipinnock

28 November 2006

I always wondered how it would feel
to be behind disaster, to catch the train behind,
the plane before the one that crashed.
So close to being unmade
yet somehow oblivious until it is too late;
the crash is done, the destination reached
and nothing can be done to make amends
for being just too slow to catch
catastrophe.

Now black and white have turned
a mottled shade of grey
obscuring contrast, making a blind man
out of a prophet.

False prophet, seeding certainty
in the hearts of your followers
yet forgetting to mind your own auguries,
to share your arcane knowledge
with those who are condemned to struggle
in your wake, overwhelmed now by tidal waves
across shifting sands where once a biblical house stood strong.

If you find a path back from the knife edge
will you share it?
Or will you doom us with silence
that we may falter and fall in your footsteps?

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 28th November 2006

This is a fine poem. Reading this, I am reminded that I have not read the newspapers for the past three days, and wonder if this may be about something topical that I am embarrassingly ignorant of.

In the last stanza, I would prefer fewer words, as if you say this out, it seems a little clumsy and thus loses some of its punch. But that is a tiny niggle.

Written by Phil (6959 comments posted) 28th November 2006

Loved the first half of this Elli. The second wasn't too shoddy either, but I'm with Witzl on having fewer words - but then I like everything simple. Sometimes it's got to be as you want it, not how the reader prefers.

Just read again. Love it more.

All the best,

Phil.

Hi Elli
Written by jean.day (2361 comments posted) 28th November 2006

I liked the first part better too, but I think that is because I didn't really understand the second part - or get the connection to the first part. Sorry to be so dumb.

But beautifully written.

Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 29th November 2006

Like the poem lots - but I think I get about 80% of your intended message.

If its about false prophets why would we want them to share there "arcane knowledge" - which will be false, and therefore not knowing it is unlikely to be to our disadvantage, no? Or have I picked up the wrong end of the stick?

A few explanatory words might have illuminated this one, sweet Elli.

Oli

Written by Hope_G_Harcourt (4 comments posted) 13th February 2007

Tres bien!

This really made me think...about things that most pieces of fiction don't normally stir me to contemplate.

Written by no1butClo (341 comments posted) 2nd May 2007

I really like the poem. Especially the second stanza, it reminds me of static on a TV screen...like the black n white meant to go to colour but got confused and enver quite made it, or saw no point.

However, I do wonder about your direction-change. THink it needs work so we get your message, because there's definitely something potent and important, you just haven't quite found it yet...

keep working, I wanna see another one!

clo x

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