[Newscaster]: ... and in other news. After the recent outcry against Examination boards willing to accept 'text speak' as a valid form of answering exam questions, we felt it would be interesting to get the views of the students who may be likely to benefit from the policy. Our correspondent Peter Pendingtton-Prendergast is in the town of Digby-cum-Dudley-upon-Thames speaking to those very youths who recently took their gcse's.

[Peter]: Yes I'm here in relatively quiet town of Digby-cum-Dudley-upon-Thames talking to Kelli and Martin about their views on the recent policy change. Martin how do you feel about the Exam boards acceptance of text speak in exams?

[Martin]: Yeah, it's book innit.

[Peter]: Yes... I guess you still need books.

[Martin]: Nah, I mean its cool. Like when you have predictive text on and you try and type cool it says 'book' instead.

[Peter]: Ahh so you are in favour of it?

[Martin]: Yeah, I mean it's hard nuff writing down what the socio-political impact of Shylock's 'If you prick us, do we not bleed...' speech would ave had in Elizabethan England, so if we can save time with text speak it I'm appy. Yah get me?

[Peter]: Errr yes I think I... get you.

[Kelli]: Yeah, and it ain't jus English Lit where it helps. I mean, like, it helps in English Language as well.

[Peter]: How is that? I would have felt that given the subject, spelling and grammar would be important in getting a good grade?

[Kelli]: Yeah well dats what you say innit? I mean you ain't takin into account the diverse addition text speak is to da english language. Take 'I D 10 T'. If you apply the primary text speak operator, where numbers replace letters or words, it means 'idiot' but if you take it phonetically, I DEE TEN TEE, you kinda get 'IDENTITY'. So yah got 2 words out of what seems to be only one word. This serves only to highlight the already transient nature of words in the English language where one word can have altogether different meanings when considered contextually within a sentence. innit?

[Peter]: Err...

[Martin]: Yeah... and I also pointed out how it's ironic that text speak relies on a phonetic operation and was primarily developed from the use of phones... innit.

[Peter]: Umm... Yes well I think we have run out of time so back to the studio.



The Newscaster is facing to the right of the screen fiddling with many charity bracelets around his wrist while speaking to someone off-screen.

[Newscaster]: So is this what they call 'bling'?

Being told he is live on-air he quickly turns back to the camera red faced.

[Newscaster]: Ahh yes thank you Peter for that insightful view into how young people feel about the change. Now onto the story about how GM Apples have had a profound affect on  British industry. The first crop of giant GM apples has lead to a sharp drop in price in Cider and many apple based products around the country. To get a better understanding of how this has affected the industries we go to our correspondent... Err... (Newscaster flips through the papers in his hand in a confused manner) Umm... Peter Pendingtton-Prendergast in the town of Digby-cum-Dudley-upon-Thames.

[Peter]: Yes I'm here in relatively quiet town of Digby-cum-Dudley-upon-Thames talking to...

[Newscaster]: Err Peter are there any apple based industries in Digby-cum-Dudley-upon-Thames area?

[Peter]: Umm... no but we took the news van with the automatic gear shift... and no one on the other news team can drive stick... so they went home...

[Newscaster]: Ahh.

[Peter]: Anyway we thought we would get a consumer perspective on the story...after trying the local public house and being told to come to this park, we are hoping to get a reaction to the recent drop in price of Cider and other apple based products from the people that buy it the most... teenagers.

Peter approaches some hooded youths.

[Peter]: Hi there. I was hoping you could tell us your feelings on the recent drop in prices of Cider?

The youth turns out to be Martin, though Peter doesn't notice.

[Martin]: Awwright! I was jus talkin to yah bruv!

[Peter]: You were just talking to my brother Paul? How'd you get in touch? Thought he was in Ramallah... he didn't mention something about an interview at Sky News did he?

Martin takes his hood down.

[Peter]: Oh... Hullo again Martin. You don't happen to have anything to say about the recent drop in Cider prices?

[Martin]: Oh fo sho, at first I thought it was a good fing right? But then I found I could buy 4 times as much cider with only the same amount of vodka to mix it with... so now it becomes way to weak to drink.

[Kelli]: Yeah, but its allright like, cos our friend Si is great at chemistry and he got some plans of the net for a distillery. Only problem was his sis wrote CL8SI on the plans, cos she wanted to say cya later Si and as it turns out that's the partial formula for Octachlorotrisilane or Cl₈Si₃, and his disstillery blew up... but he says he will make us some Potang when he gets outta hospital.

[Peter]: Err... back to the studio.