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Science Fiction and Fantasy
Future King - Chapter 2
By tat_2man
30 November 2006
Again just something fun to write nothing serious.

CHAPTER 2

 

 

The Elven Kingdom

 

 As Tat crossed into the Elven Kingdom he sensed a difference in the forest. Warily he hurried to the camp site. He found the camp deserted but by the tracks he knew the elves had taken his friends. Swiftly he followed the tracks leading out of the camp. The sun was setting when he reached the elf warriors camp. Slowly he walked into the elven camp and was met by his friends. After many interruptions Tat got the full story from them. He hurried to the tent where the female elf was laid and there he found Favanau the Elf Lord.

 

‘Elle has been wounded by a Dark Blade’ said Favanau. ‘The wound will heal but I am afraid the blade has touched her spirit.’

 

‘She was trying to warn me of the danger I was in’ said Tat. ‘Her wound has hurt me deeply also.’

 

‘You were told not to return to the Elven Kingdom’ said the Elf Lord. ‘If you care for Elle go back to your land and never return.’

 

Tat bowed his head and kissed Elle upon her forehead and left the tent.

 

 

The Untamed Lands

 

After leaving the Elven Kingdom the friends entered the Untamed Lands where they sought the trail of the Prince and the sorceress.

 

 

Jahallam

 

Upon a throne of darkness sat The Left Hand and before him stood the Dark Knight with his head bowed.

 

‘The Elves banished you from their lands before you could get the head of this idiot knight of Jahallam. Go to the Untamed Lands and call up every creature of darkness and hunt down the Princeling and his friends. Do not fail me again’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Untamed Lands (East)

 

‘I do not know who or what you are young thing. Nor do I know how you survived on your own in the Desolate Plains. But I sense something powerful from you’ said the sorceress.

 

The young prince just stared at the sorceress. He had lost the ability of speech when The Left Hand had him banished.

 

‘Can you not speak?’ asked the sorceress.

 

The Prince shook his head and the sorceress began to question him about his life. But her questions were no where near what had befallen the young Prince.

 

 

The Untamed Lands (South-West)

 

Tat and company had finally fallen to the trail of the Prince and the sorceress. They were hurrying as fast as they could for they sensed that a great evil was coming down on them.

 

 

The Untamed Lands (North-West)

 

The Dark Knight rode like the wind with darkness following his every turn.

 

 

The Untamed Lands (East)

 

‘We shall ride for Bramble. Do you know of it?’ asked the sorceress.

 

The Prince shook his head in the negative and the sorceress began to explain the history of Bramble. It had once been a grand city of many men but the hand of evil reaches far and the city was lost. Now Bramble was in ruins but some men have returned to bring it back to glory.

 

 

The Untamed Lands (South-West)

 

‘They seem to be headed for Bramble. Darkness comes on a fell wind. Quickly to Bramble.’

 

 

Bramble

 

‘What have you brought upon us sorceress?’ asked the sentry. With that the sorceress turned and to the West blackness was quickly approaching.

The Untamed Lands (East)

 

As the four friends rode it seemed that the darkness was right on their heels. In the distance behind them they could hear noises that brought shivers down their spines.

 

‘I do not think we will make Bramble. We should turn and make our stand here’ said Ash.

 

‘Do not give up!’ shouted Tat. ‘We are almost upon Bramble. We shall make our stand there.’

 

 

Bramble

 

Many men watched the darkness coming upon them. Some knew this was to be their time to fight for the land they were trying to rebuild on. Others began to flee to the East. No one seemed to notice the four friends ride in.

 

‘Ash and Eric find the Prince and protect him with your lives’ Tat said. ‘If we are over-run take the Prince to the South to the Elves. May your swords always shine.’

 

‘May your sword always shine also’ Ash said.

 

And with that the friends parted. Two to protect the Prince and two to see if they could help defend Bramble.

 

 

The men of Bramble had rebuilt the outer wall and many stood on it now and watched and waited for the darkness.

 

‘Men of Bramble, now is the time to defend your home. The darkness comes and many songs will be written of the battle today. I say stand and fight’ Tat said.

 

The crowd parted and there stood the sorceress.

 

‘The women will defend their home also’ she simply stated.

 

That is how the second battle for Bramble began.

Reviews

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 6th December 2006
Very bitty read...it feels like a plan of a novel rather than an actual extended piece at the moment...needs more fleshing out and details if you're going to hook a reader... 
 
Elli

Written by tat_2man (56 comments posted) 8th December 2006
Thanks again ellipinnock. What does bitty read mean? :?  
 
This was mainly for fun just alittle writing excercise and I am trying to improve it as I go but now I am finding it hard to get into the details for some reason. :cry Anyways thanks for the constructive critcism it helps alot.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 9th December 2006
Hi, 
 
I meant that because there are so short sections without a lot fo detail in them it becomes very jerky to read. You lose the flow and therefore rather than reading like an entire piece it read a bit like a synopsis to me... 
 
If you're finding it hard to get into the details then maybe the plot hasn't caught your imagination...if that's the case then maybe you need to rethink, do a bit of brainstorming and take it in a different direction. if you aren;t interested enough in it to cme up with the details then I'd say the chances are that you aren't going to convince the reader that the story is interesting either! 
 
Just opinion but I hope it helps. 
 
Elli

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