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Non-Fiction
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| My Little Bitch Session for the Day | |
| By laurenmeyer | ||||||||
| 01 December 2006 | ||||||||
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It’s been another crazy day. You would think life as a receptionist is simple and boring. A day filled with long coffee breaks, nail filing and varnishing and gossips about boyfriends, girlfriends and the latest spring sales at various shops. You’d be right – it is… The problem with the simple boring life of the receptionist is that during those quite times, you get to ponder life and the deeper meaning thereof (that is if you aren’t counting the amount of busses going past your office door, of course). You also get to think your day through thoroughly, plan and re-plan, work things out in your mind before doing something – the most time-effective way to get to the nearest Marks & Spencer’s from London Bridge for example. Or perhaps, you could spend the hours pondering where the best place to go for a haircut would be during that very short one hour lunch break that you have – and could you do it in an hour? So you sit, ponder and plan. The walk (or bus ride – we don’t make enough money for a cab ride) plus the haircut itself (washed and blow-dried – we have to be fabulous on our return to work) AND the walk back has all got to be taken into consideration. And so we sit on the internet. We Google where to go for the cut and style, look on TFL for information on the most effective way to get there and we calculate all our times and costs. Now, after doing this for almost a year, it becomes second nature to us. We learn to multi-task – answering phones while booking things online – and we find our way around this big beautiful city with nothing more than a printed out map from streetmap.co.uk. Now, my question to you, the reader is….if a silly little receptionist fresh off the boat in the biggest city in the world can find her way around town and do so properly, WHY THE HELL CAN YOU BUSINESS BOOTED-AND-SUITED PEOPLE WITH A HORRIBLY EXPENSIVE EDUCATION NOT READ A BLOODY MAP??? Do you people not have PA’s? You know them, those little women who cater to your every need (no, not your wife, the other one)… Do you not confirm with them as to where you are going and how you are getting there? Do the little people have to THINK for you too? Must the world be wholly and solely about you and your little lives? You walk into my reception, dressed to the nines, veins pulsing in your rapidly wrinkling forehead and yell at me that you have a meeting with so-and-so ‘and I’m VERY late, and there is no parking near this building!!’ Should I care? Do you really think that I give a monkey’s bottom that you didn’t leave home early enough to be here on time, didn’t co-ordinate your schedule to fit in the possibility of traffic (Mmm…what city is this? London? No, there couldn’t POSSIBLY be any traffic, I mean, the little people have PUBLIC TRANSPORT, why the hell would ANYONE be on the road at 8:30 in the morning?????? (Please note the sarcasm) NOR did you bother to arrive at the RIGHT BUILDING??? And yes, there is a name on the building. Heck, this building even has the street name that you are standing on on it! The company name is on the door – do you need glasses too??? Oh, and by the way, main roads do not ordinarily have parking on them. Especially right on a bridge… You have a map. That big blue thing in the middle is the Thames. It’s a river – a fairly big and well known one from what I’ve heard – and the fact that you start yelling at me because you are too silly to realise that 1) it’s a river, 2) this is not where you need to be; 3) your meeting is actually outside Liverpool Street (a totally different location) and 4) I may only be a receptionist, but your argument of ‘I have been here a thousand times before and I know that so-and-so works here’ when you are obviously in the wrong place (yes, check again on your map) REALLY PISSES ME OFF! Take your map and shove it up your arse mate – it will do more good for you up there than what it would do if you had to actually pretend to follow it. Get yourself organised – and if you don’t have the time, get your PA to organise your life for you. Just because you are in a bad mood, late and an impossibly obnoxious snob it doesn’t give you the right to yell at me when you are OBVIOUSLY in the wrong. And your no-apology attitude when I was as polite as humanly possible went noted too. You might have a pre-conceived idea about the job that I do. You might think that all receptionists are some stupid retards with no education. We aren’t… Most of us are highly trained people with good education looking for a little more out of life than spending our days stressing over meetings and schedules, while confining ourselves to the four walls of our offices and having other people run our lives on our behalf because we are too busy making money to appreciate the finer things in life – like taking time for our families, friends and more importantly for ourselves. So next time Mr Businessman, when you come into my reception, please speak to me like a human being, listen when I talk and do try and smile a little bit. I not a monkey with headset – and I probably know more about the world and how it operates outside of office hours than you have ever imagined. I hope your brand new car got towed. You parked in a bus lane. A**hole…
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