A day in the life of a hospital patient

I sit here looking around me

I am shaking in my boots,

But the woman in the next bed

She, couldn't give two hoots.

She's had a hysterectomy

They've taken, all her bits

She's also had injections

For popo-leptic fits.

The woman over there

In the bed, that's numbered three

She's going to have he stomach done

Same operation as me.

They've pulled the curtains round

On the bed that's numbered, one.

The woman who's in that bed

They say she weighs a ton!

She's here to have her jaws wired up

To help her eat less food.

Poor lass she is quite miserable

And in a grumpy mood.

The doctor's here, in his white coat

He's come to have a chat.

With stethescope around his neck

He thinks he is all that.

The nurse is taking temperatures

But, she hasn't got a clue.

There's a lady, up the corridor

With all her bits on view.

A woman brings a trolley

It's our dinner for today.

'For heaven's sake, not mince again'

We call out in dismay.

The evening drink is passed around,

The trollery shakes and rattles.

'Now, who wants sugar, who wants milk?'

The trollery woman prattles.

'Goodnight you lot' the lights go out

'Sleep tight' the nurses say.

'See you in the morning girls

For another, fund packed day'.