~~~~~~~

So here I am, the big day has come; we have said our goodbyes and best wishes for the future. I have even had some good luck and a few blessings bestowed upon me as I am transferred to a smaller more manageable bed for the journey out of the spinal ward into my future.

The ambulance drives past the white fenced home paddocks of the family ranch, the BW; sure enough as the door opens there is mother, all excited about getting her loving twenty two year old daughter home. The ambulance officers skilfully wheel and manhandle me into the house to my new room, which had been a formal dinning room in a past life. I’m to be near the kitchen so Mother and I can have ‘fun’ bonding.

I guessed correctly, the room is freshly painted girlie pink, with all the expected trim; the bed is ever so lacy with at least a dozen pillows adorned by coloured satin ribbons and delicate lace. Strangely, there is no TV; in the hospital I had become something of a daytime soap junky. It was as if I couldn’t drag myself away, sorry I guess that was my sick joke. I asked mother about a TV and got the response, “Oh we won’t have time for TV, we will be far to busy.” God, I think but say nothing, I just practice my best diplomatic smile. It is only then that I notice how a lovely delicate French partition is hiding all those ugly lifting thing-a-me things that must clearly be distressing to mother’s eyes and will therefore be restricted to minimal usage.

“Now, I’ll just leave you with these nice men who will put you in bed and I’ll be back directly with a nice cup of tea for us”, mother said, as she hurries away to the kitchen and renders herself busy to the task of tea and pumpkin scones. Sure enough, the ambulance guys place me in bed, decline the cup of tea and made a polite escape. While I start the first of probably six daily cuppas for the rest of my life. I’m not sure whether it even registered with mother that I don’t drink tea.

Mother started to explain how tomorrow we would be busy as several of the ladies institute auxiliary committee members were coming over to discuss strategies for next months fund raiser to get the priest’s new robes. All the while mother kept putting the cup to my mouth allowing me to take another sip and went on, and on, about gold thread, plush bone chiffon material, white trim and …

~~zzz~~

The sunset was a rich red, reserving for the clearest summer days, soaked with ribbons of blue and purple that seem to shimmy the light as it fades into darkness.

I dismount, tether Jess to the fence, rub my aching rear end and stretch my back. I pull on my chaps to get them away from my crutch and stroll over the fire to take a quick scupper of coffee, to wash the dust down. Satisfied with the coffee I stroll over to the cattle trough, remove my hat and dunk my head to clean up, or cool down I’m not sure which. I let the cool water run down my shirt as I stand up and stoke my hair back while replacing my hat. I park on an upturned bucket near the camp kitchen, take another few swigs of coffee and listen to the herd tally. Eventually Soc comes out with, “Three hundreds and twenty six head, not a bad days work. I recon Joe and Mullet can do another sweep through the canyon come first light to pick up any stragglers; that will just about do the round-up. Buck and Stretch, you guys can take to the branding and culling at the corral on your own until Joe and Mullet get through and I’ll have a nice lay in with a silver service breakfast. I recon we have two more days ahead of us out here; hope the weather holds, the sunset seems to be saying so. Hey cookie where the hell’s the grub, a man could go grey waiting for a feed around here. Jesus Joe! I wouldn’t be getting too settled on that bucket, it’s got a rattler under it. I didn’t want to shoot the dam thing with all the cattle so close.”

My heart rate jumps as I spring to my feet, spilling coffee everywhere. I quickly put in a few yards between the bucket and myself without a thought, while the guys all provide rapturous applause.

~~zzz~~

“Dear, dear! Joanne dear, can you hear me?” I wake from a delightful little sleep to see mother standing over me with a somewhat whitish complexion. She has the first-aid kit in her hand. I’m not sure what she is about to do with it, but she clearly must have though I had died.

“Oh there you are my dear, you did give me a start. You must be tired from your trip. I’ll let you have a little nap to build up your strength, before lunch. I’ll be just next door in the kitchen if you need me,” Mother says, as she pulls two blankets up to my chin, aligns some loose hairs on my head, kisses me on the cheek and shuffles off into her joining dominion.

I go back to sleep, but the joy of being at work on the ranch doesn’t return. Those dreams are my special treats they don’t happen every day; it is such a joy to be able to ‘live’ outside this room, this body.

I have no idea how long I slept, it couldn’t have been very long but I wake with a splitting headache, a sure sign I’m overheating. Before I can concentrate on how to try and explain to mother to uncover me I become aware of the muffled sound of mother issuing instructions. I open my eyes to be confronted with the five males of my life, all lined up like scarecrows on a wire. Each is dressed to the nines, in Saturday heel kicking clobber. Save for one, all are wearing only socks, clean socks; a sure sign mother made the boots stay out on the veranda, no matter how clean they might have been. The fifth my best mate Gus is in bare feet. He has clearly been worked over a treat with all kinds of cleaning apparatus to gain passage into the house. He is sitting up on the floor with his irristable smile and even has a scarf around his neck, like a pooncey town dog might wear on a Sunday stroll through the park. I would give anything to put my arms out and beckon him onto my bed. I give out a “Gus, here boy!” and watch as in one leap he jumps onto the bed, immediately pulling the blankets back with his mouth and lays beside me, his head on my shoulder looking up at me for approval, which he receives. Although she said nothing mother must have aged three years to have Gus in bed with me, lying on her finery.

Soc; sorry, Bill, Father spoke saying, “That’d be right, we spend two days and three gallons of gamelan getting that ‘flee bag’ cleaned up, and had to take shifts around the clock stopping him rolling in anything only to have him take over in here and get all the attention.”

Father is banned from being called Soc in the house, Mother has never approved of our gross ‘cattle sale yard’ talk and behaviour.

Buck, Mullet and Stretch all came over and check me out, I could see they wanted to make a crack about me being dressed up in a nightie with pink flowers and frills all over it, but couldn’t find the appropriate way to broach the topic. Stretch was first he ‘broke the ice’ with, “Joe, I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to come back. When do we get our Pizza?”

Mother’s eyes almost popped, she turned to her husband and said, “That’s enough! You can all go back to the barn until you learn how to behave in polite society. I would have thought you should know better by now, William Whitman.”

Soc, sorry Bill, backed off a few steps and said, “That’s right, boys! Stretch you’d better hop it back to the barn while I decide if I’m going to dock you a months pay or sack you for that outburst. I recon you all belong in the barn. Mullet pick that dog off of her and take him back to the barn before he farts in that fancy sack. Buck, grab her and take her down there too, until she learns not to laugh at Stretch’s terrible jokes. Stretch you had better make yourself useful; follow Buck and make sure she doesn’t turn blue, purple or green on the way, but don’t go getting any ideas, no staring at her flower covered butt, right.”

With that everything took on a new perspective. I was grabbed around the hips and thrown over Buck’s shoulder like a sack of spuds. All I could see was the ground going past below me with my arms dangling in front of me, and they were swaying; a pleasant sight indeed.

Mother’s voice got further away, she was going on about my being sick and how this was no way to treat her, and don’t go getting her dirty or all smelly. Soc just replied, “She’s not sick, she has a disability; but she will be sick if you leave her laying in that bed all day. Now if you don’t mind we have cattle to tend to. I’ll take my lecture tonight when I’m all washed up for the day.”

As I bounce along on Buck’s shoulder, I can see Gus is now walking along between my arms; he looks like he is having fun too.

Soc said, “OK, plonk her on those hay bails and get that clobber out we found.”

No sooner had he finished speaking when sure enough down I go in a stack of hay that they had fashioned into a seat with a cotton cover over it. They strip me down to my underwear and re-dress me in work shirt, jeans and boots. Stretch even goes to the trouble of putting my chaps, spurs and gloves on. It is great to feel human; looking around I have a great view over the house yards and for the first time in ages I feel the breeze blow across me face. This is no accident these guys have been planing this stunt for some time.

Soc tells Buck to get in there and round up that there thing-a-me do-dad and get it moving this way; show Joe how to make the thing do as it’s told. Buck returns with a consol looking thing which he placed around me neck and says, “Pay attention Joe, cause Soc sent me to Pennsylvania to learn how to work this thing, so I can explain it all to you and I know he is going to sack me if we mess it up. OK, you blow and suck on these tubes, right and watch the lights to get the functions right, right. OK here we go. To get the thing to come you get that light to go, good. Look! Here it comes.”

I look up and can’t believe my eyes a funny looking thing comes out of the barn and starts coming towards us. Buck continued, “This would be your iBot 3000 using the remote function. Gee! Blow there, get that light on and stop it before it starts making love to my leg. OK, lets get you up and in the saddle.”

He picks me up with his now familiar over the shoulder lift technique and placed me in the iBot 3000 which had unfolded when I stopped it. It is obviously a fancy looking wheelchair. Buck continued, “Now don’t be calling this thing a wheelchair, right! That would be like calling a Shetland pony a Mustang. This here thing-a-me is an INDEPENDENCE® iBOT™ 3000 Mobility System, a revolutionary device unlike any other. This Mobility System redefines the capabilities of seated mobility. The result of years of development, intense testing for safety, as well as input from wheelchair users, the iBOT™ Mobility System empowers you with unprecedented levels of self-reliance and accessibility."

"It can balance on two wheels in a complete safety, "stand up" and move around, allowing eye-to-eye contact. If the other person is not on a horse!"

"It will climb up and down stairs with the rider not shifting in the saddle!"

"It can travel on dodgy surfaces; grass, gravel, sand, mud, puddles and meadow cakes are all no problem, until you get back to the homestead!"

"It also allows you to detach the controls and power the unoccupied device. Like whistling a dog."

"This is all possible, due to innovative design, gyroscopic sensors, a bunch of Pentium™ III processors, and some very clever programming."

"Do I sound like a parrot, that’s what the guy who conned us into buying it said? Hope the wheels don’t fall off today because it cost a packet.”

As Buck went through his explanation and played around with it I started to understand just how fancy it was I could almost dance. It took me a few goes to get the hang of it. Letting it jump up to eye height and balance on two wheels took quite some getting used to, how we didn’t fall down in a heap, I’ll never know. However, Buck assured me it was safe and all done with mirrors and a piece of string.

Anyway, it all worked and had me feeling like a million dollars, with a grin from ear to ear. I even tried to give Gus a ride but he jumped down as soon as it moved.

It was time to try it out on the stairs; I pointed myself at the homestead, and as a precaution asked Soc if mother knew anything about the wheelchair; he said, “Holly crap, no, don’t be telling her I had anything to do with this. I’m in it up to my ears already. Blame it on those three young whippersnappers. She can have me sack them if you fall off. Before you go, let me put some dust on your boots so she notices you coming.”

He picked up some dirt and rubbed it over my boots, put a few artistic creations up my clothes, which included two obvious grope marks on my breasts and a few dusty smudges on my face. “There that should get you sent back down here for the rest of the day,” Soc offers, as I started for the house again; he continued with, “Don’t be taking to long up there either Joe, Mullet has some whiz bang thing-a-me he needs some help with down here. You remember this is a cattle ranch we are running here, it’s not a play school for maturing juveniles.”

I get to the house and with a little playing around, remembering what Buck had told me to do, a few huffs and puffs and up the stairs we go. I say nothing, just cruise into the kitchen and do a circuit of the table.  Mother keeps working as I float by and as I wasn’t expected in there, I wasn’t noticed; Mother is like that. I take myself up stairs and checked out my proper bedroom. It was just as I had left it, apart from it having had an obviously super spring clean and tidy up. I make my way back down stairs re-enter the kitchen and eventually say, “Mother, may I borrow your cars keys please, I seem to have misplaced mine. I’m just on my way into town to pick-up a few pizza’s for the boys; shouldn’t be long.”

Mother went white she looks up and appeared ill; disturbed enough to have me feel somewhat guilty. “It’s OK Mother, what's done is done. We all have to move on.