I have restarted posting this story from chapter 26, to save putting up all the previous 25 chapters.  Hope this is OK.

Chapter 26

Donna’s anguished cry of pain stopped everyone in their tracks, and her father-in-law, Rosie and Clare came running over to see what was wrong.  Her mother-in-law was kneeling on the ground next to her, trying to reassure her.  She slowly sat up, pain shooting through her stomach.  In the meantime, Jon was just standing there in a state of shock, quite unable to take in what had just happened.  It had all happened so quickly – one minute they were all laughing and having fun together, and the next his pregnant wife was lying on the grass crying with pain.  As calm as ever, his mother took charge.  She noticed Emily, sitting just behind them, crying uncontrollably, and put a comforting hand on her arm, trying to reassure her that mummy and the baby would be all right, but Emily was not convinced.  She wheeled her chair over to Jon, and for a moment, she sat there looking up at him, then suddenly she rounded on him, with an angry outburst that left them all stunned.

“Why didn’t you look where you were going?” she shouted, tears pouring down her face  “You fell on mummy’s tummy, and hurt her baby – if anything happens to mummy’s baby it’ll be your fault!”

“Come on, Emily!” said her granddad, gently  “that’s not fair!  It was an accident!  He didn’t mean to hurt mummy!”

“Never mind about that!” said her nanny, helping Donna to her feet  “We’d better get Donna to hospital, just to make sure everything’s all right!  Come on, love!  Let’s get you in the car!”

She looked at Jon, who stood there unmoving, his arms hanging limply by his sides, tears streaming down his face.  He was thinking about what had happened last time, when he had hit a driver who had pulled out straight in front of them, and Donna had lost the baby.  His mother put her hand on his arm, in an attempt to get his attention.

“You take her, mum!” he said, his voice breaking  “She won’t want me anywhere near her!  Emily’s right – it is my fault!”

“Please, Jon!” said Donna, grabbing hold of his arm  “Please, come with me!  I’m frightened!”

“Will you come too, mum?” he said, as he helped Donna into the passenger seat “Please!”

Leaving the girls in their granddad’s capable hands, they set off for the hospital.  As Donna sat there holding her stomach, crying softly, beside herself with fear, he kept glancing at her, his eyes burning with unshed tears.  He sent up a silent prayer – surely He wouldn’t let it happen again, that would be too cruel.

On arrival at the hospital, he managed to find a space right outside the doors, and carefully lifted Donna out of her seat, he carried her inside, closely followed by his mother.  The receptionist asked him what was wrong.

“It’s my wife!  She’s had a fall – she’s pregnant!  She’s got pains in her stomach!”

Within minutes, a nurse and a doctor appeared with a wheelchair, and gently placed Donna in it.  They began to wheel her towards some large double doors.

“I want to go with her!” he said, taking her hand  “Let me go with her!”

“We’ll look after her!” said the nurse, gently  “You go and book her in, and we’ll take a look at her!  Try not to worry!”

“Try not to worry!!” he said, running his hands through his hair in his frustration  “How can I not worry?  It’s like telling the tide not to come in!”

“Come on, love!” said his mother, taking his hand and leading him to a chair  “There’s nothing you can do at the moment!  Let me get you a coffee or something!”

“I don’t want coffee!” he snapped, realising his raised voice had attracted stares and whispers  “What are you all looking at? Enjoying the show, are you?  Go on, have a good look – get off on other people’s misery, do you?”

“Jonathan! That’s enough!” said his mother, pulling him back down into his chair  “This isn’t helping Donna, is it?  Now, calm down, and drink this!”

He did as she said, giving her sideways glances, tears beginning to roll down his face.  Suddenly, all his anger evaporated, and an all-too-familiar fear gripped his heart – the same fear he’d felt when Donna lost the baby she was carrying. He looked at his mother, his throat aching with the effort of holding back the tears.  The look of love and concern on her face, and her gentle hand on his shoulder, finally broke him.

He leaned his head on her shoulder, and cried as if his heart would break.  She put her arm around his heaving shoulders, and pulled him close, gently kissing the top of his head.  In his scared, vulnerable state, this simple childhood gesture made him cry harder than ever, his sobs muffled by a tissue he had managed to find in the depths of his pockets.

She did not speak, but waited for him to calm down.  Suddenly, he pulled away from her, and sat there hunched over in his chair, his face still wet with tears.

“What am I going to do, mum?  It’s happening all over again!  Donna could lose our baby, and once again, it’s all my fault!”

“Don’t say that!” said his mother, gripping his shoulders, trying to reason with him  “It wasn’t your fault last time, and it isn’t this time!  It was an accident – you fell!  It’s just one of those things!  Anyway, you don’t know what’s going to happen yet!”

“That’s just it, mum!  That’s what’s tearing me apart – I don’t know what’s happening!  I want to be with my wife!  I want to hold her hand, and tell her everything’s all right, but instead, she’s in there alone, and I’m stuck out here!  I can’t do anything – I feel so helpless!  What was that bit in my vows about protecting her?  I’ve done a p*** poor job of it so far!  Emily was right – if I’d been looking where I was going, this never would have happened!  If anything happens to our baby, it’s down to me!  I’ll never forgive myself for this – never!  How much longer are they going to be?  I can’t stand all this waiting – I can’t stand it!!”

“Stop it!” said his mother, taking hold of him once again  “Stop talking like that!  Listen to me – this isn’t your fault!  Please, stop torturing yourself about something you couldn’t have possibly prevented!  Whatever happens, it isn’t down to you – it’s just a horrible twist of fate!”

“I’ll never forget the look on her face, when I landed on top of her!” he said, the anguish in his eyes going straight to her heart.   “She was in so much pain, and I caused it!  Oh God, mum, what have I done?”

She did not say a word, but just held him close to her.  Despite the fact that he was a grown man now, her motherly instincts were just as strong as they had been when he was a little boy.  His joy was her joy, and, right now, his pain was her pain, too.   He and Donna had been through so much – they had suffered indescribable pain with the loss of their first baby, then immeasurable joy at Rosie’s birth.  He had suffered the crushing guilt of missing out on Clare’s birth, then Emily came along, enriching their lives beyond measure.  So much had been sent to try them – they had been to hell and back, but had come through it, stronger and happier, and more in love, than ever.  Now, it seemed as though they were being tested once again.  He closed his eyes, but he could still see the look of pain and fear on Donna’s face, and Emily’s tearful accusations had hurt him more than a slap in the face.  In fact, he would have preferred it if she had slapped him – it would have hurt less. Whoever had said ‘sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ had got it so wrong – words did hurt.  The pain of a slap soon faded, but the memory of hurtful words said in the heat of the moment, remained for a hell of a lot longer.

“Look! The doctor’s coming!”

His mother’s words broke his train of thought, and he stood up, and faced the doctor, his eyes silently pleading with her.

“Would you like to come with me?” she said, holding out her hand.

He turned back to his mother, but she said, plastering on a smile for his sake:

“You go, love!  I’ll wait here! Don’t worry – I’ll be fine!”

He followed the doctor along the corridors, his heart thudding so hard he could almost hear it.  He was beside himself with fear – he did not know what to expect.  The doctor’s expression had not given anything away – what was going on?  She took him into a small side room, and shut the door.  Donna lay on the bed, attached to a monitor.  His heart sank when he realised she was crying.

“Donna?  What’s going on?  Please, no – not again!”

“Jon!  Listen!” she said, taking his hand.

The doctor put her sonicaid on Donna’s stomach, and there it was – their baby’s heartbeat, strong and true.  Her tears had been tears of happiness – her prayers had been answered. She looked up at Jon, and, seeing that he was fighting a losing battle with his self-control, she held out her arms to him.

“Come here!” she said, her voice breaking   “You don’t have to torture yourself any more!  It’s all right!  Shh – it’s all right!”

As she held him close, she could feel him shaking, as tears of relief finally overwhelmed him.He lay his head on her stomach, silently thanking the Lord for sparing the precious new life growing inside her. There had been times when he had raged at God and the world, but, right now, he was thanking Him from the bottom of his heart.