Great Writing - Home > Poetry > The Dardanelles
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1272 guests online and 2 members online
Poetry
The Dardanelles
By Talisker
04 December 2006
Both of my grandfather worked in the Polkemmet coal mine - nicknamed "The Dardanelles" after the flawed Galipolli campaign underway as it was sunk in 1915

They dubbed this hole
"The Dardanelles"
no irony intended.

Sunk like the allies'
flawed campaign,
deep in mud and dark,
and death.

No ANZACS here,
just hardy Scots,
piss-knuckled men,
who scrape and tear
at shiny black.

The hard won stuff
was coking coal,
for furnaces,
to build the ships,
to sail the men,
to Gallipoli.

They dug the pit,
they piled the slag,
until a pyramid was raised,
upon the ridge.

My grandfather,
who worked the seam,
proudly said;
"the first thing seen,
from out at sea was this,
Polkemmet bing".

When winding gear
had long since seized,
the final shift,
had long since loused,
this slag heap smouldered on.

The sulphur stench of satan's lair,
cindery fallout on the town,
leaving hair and laundry black,
Polkemmet has the last laugh,
the "Dardanelles",
still not subdued.


Oli 04/12/06

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 4th December 2006
What a great image -- men scraping and tearing at shiny black. That gives such a sense of the difficulty of mining. I am a sucker for good rhythm, and this poem does not disappoint: They dug the pit / They piled the slag / until a pyramid was raised / upon the ridge. Love that.
Coals
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 4th December 2006
Indeed a very clear picture. It seems like the whole westcoast of Britain used to be one big coalmine. That's probably what the Empire was built upon.

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 4th December 2006
Coal and brazen exploitation. (The empire) 
 
Another class piece Oli. Like Witzl, thought the pulse really good. (I'm going to have to get some poetic vocabulary sorted - rhythm, pulse, cadence, metre?) 
 
Good strong images in my head, especially of the men. 
 
Enjoyed very much. 
 
All the best, 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 4th December 2006
I thought this was really very good Oli. Some fantastic imagery along the way - ab fab. 
 
Elli

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item