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Poetry
My Sweetheart
By angelwriter
04 December 2006
There he sat, my sweetheart
by a rock upon the shore
playing me sweet melodies
declaring love forever more

All night long he sat and played
as stars lit up the sky
he gazed at me, and kissed my lips
i felt like i could fly

The world, it seemed so silent
as time moved slowly on
and yet deep down, i felt so sad
knowing soon it will be gone

he whispered words so gentle
as the moon, it fade away
it gave up, oh so suddenly
it surrendered to the day

and now, i see him fading
like an memory lost in time
i know one day we'll meet again
and his heart will be mine

Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3307 comments posted) 4th December 2006
Sweet poem. An interesting use of rhyme, with only the second and fourth line of every stanza rhyming. I think you could do one or two things about the rhytm, but it's a nice poem.
Agreed
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 4th December 2006
Yes, a sweet poem, but sad. Why did he go away? Perfhaps he was a merman. Just a little thing: You need capitals at the start of the lines, and capitals for I. Only a simple thing. I thought the use of rhyme was lovely too.

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