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Great Writing - Home > Scripts > A Wing and a Prayer- Continued -3 scenes
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Drama Scripts
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| A Wing and a Prayer- Continued -3 scenes | |
| By Bottleblondesurfer | ||||||||||||||||
| 05 December 2006 | ||||||||||||||||
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To Re-cap:- The Workers at Kersey garments have said good-bye to Susan who has left to go to a mortagage Broker. Faith is concerned about the factory's future,especially as she is the bread winner of her house. I have re-organised the last scene with Faith and the secretary to incorporate another confrontation,apologies for the repetition. Let me know if the scene is too long INT. FACTORY. MORNING. FAITH is in the factory early tidying up what’s left of the celebrations. In walks SARAH, the secretary, a bit tarty, self important with a clip board- her badge of office. SARAH. Where is the Bristol order then. I thought you said it was finished. [FAITH is startled and turns to face SARAH with arms full of empty bottles] FAITH. I never told you that. SARAH. But I thought... [She realised that she has walked into a trap and doesn’t want to give any more away. She goes through her clipboard.] SARAH. Anyway what are you doing here so early? It’s not like you. FAITH. No, but it is like you. I’m surprised you don’t just put up a bed in the office. a double one of course. I mean you never know.. SARAH. You’re never in before me. I always open up. FAITH I do have a key, too. Gordon came in early to have a look at the heating. He’s just gone and I’m having a tidy up. [SARAH stares pointedly at the empty wine bottles in Faith’s arms. Every thing else is fairly normal.] SARAH. I see, a big drinker is he, then? That’s probably why he can’t hold a job down, ( SARAH is smug and FAITH is fuming but she is not in a position to retort. She turns to walk out with the bottles Sarah calls after her.) SARAH. So what’s happening with this Bristol order? [Faith just storms out with the bottles] SARAH. [picks up an empty bottle and follows FAITH] You’ve missed one [she’s pleased at being one up on Faith and wants to milk the situation as she catches up] You think I don’t know what you lot have been up to. I know everything. [ FAITH has reacted to the last statement, and her attitude is more friendly] FAITH I suppose you do…… I mean, you and kersey are close, aren’t you. SARAH Oh what! Has fat Maggie been shouting her mouth off again? She saw nothing, if she…. FAITH No I mean he takes you into his confidence. [SARAH is pleased with this admission and can’t help responding] SARAH I’m more than just a PA ,he relies on me for everything. I’m the one who… [FAITH has heard it all before, but she has another agenda] FAITH Yeah, yeah, that’s what I meant. So you would know if he… SARAH What?..if he what? FAITH Well if he had any…well any… plans SARAH Plans? What sort of plans? FAITH Well, you know, for…. the future, plans for the future. SARAH Are there any other sort of plans? FAITH I knew this was a mistake. SARAH Oh ,I know. Your Gordon is out of work and you’re worried about your job. Well if it was down to me I’d sack the lot of you. You get can machines to programme now. We saw them at a trade fair. They never stop and never have piss-ups on firm’s time. [FAITH ignores this and continues with her questions] FAITH So you’re not worried, then? I mean there’s nothing happening? SARAH If anything were to happen here. I would be the first to know. He tells me everything. Oh yes, I would be the first to know. [she shoves the bottle she has into the pile FAITH is holding] And you and your two bosom buddies would be the last to know. FAITH To know what. What is there to know? SARAH I don’t bloody know. You started this. FAITH So there is nothing to know? SARAH I know this: one of us is talking shite. Have a guess? or do you want to phone a friend?. [she turns to walk away] Look I’ve got work to do and you’ve got to clear this crap up. [she stops, returns and puts her face up to FAITH’S] And there’s nothing to know. I’d know it if there was. So if I don’t know…...then there is nothing to know. FAITH Ok, ok .. right! [FAITH walks away and SARAH goes into the office] INT .FAITH’S HOUSE. SAME MORNING [GORDON has just come in with an armful of magazines and papers. He sorts them out ,puts one pile on the kitchen table and a smaller pile his hides under the stairs. In the kitchen, he busies himself making breakfast GORDON Gemma!! Breakfast. C’mon. You’ll be late [GEMMA comes in struggling into a top.] GORDON You’re not going to school like that, are you? GEMMA It’s college, dad. College. It’s been college for the last year. Do try and keep up. Anyway I’m off. And I don’t want breakfast. GORDON Gemsie, you need some breakfast. GEMMA Not if you’re cooking it. It’s got to come straight out of a packet, sealed in cellophane. GORDON But I’m doing some kedgeree. GEMMA Does it involve cooking? GORDON Well I’ve go to cook it GEMMA Then I don’t want it. Did you get my magazines? GORDON Yes there on the dresser. Look Gemsie I have to say I really don’t approve of the way you’re dressed, even if it is college. [GEMMA turns and throws a look at GORDON] GEMMA That’s because you are- like - the saddest person on the planet. [the dog comes in proudly holding a magazine in his mouth] GEMMA It’s Perkins, dad. He’s done it again. I bet it’s one of mine [GORDON makes a grab for the dog who runs off with it in his mouth] GORDON. I told you, yours are on the dresser.It must be mine. How the bloody hell did he get hold of that? GEMMA See; it’s not so funny when it’s one of yours he chews up [she quickly grabs her two from the dresser and turns to go] GORDON What about the kedgeree? GEMMA Use it as a door-stop. I’m gone [She goes out the door and the dog trots in with the magazine and GORDON pulls it free wiping it clean, he shouts to a slamming door] GORDON Hey, you need a coat …….or something [ GORDON puts the magazine back on the shelf under the stairs and shuts the door] |
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| Reviews |
| Hi BBS Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 5th December 2006 |
| I enjoyed this...I find it hard to tell whether these things are too long or not but it didn't drag for me. I thought there was enough variety in this to maintain interest, the dialogue seemed believable and it moved along nicely. I particularly liked, 'I think I’ve still got the diagrams somewhere' I thought that the scene at the beginning between Faith and Sarah could maybe have been shorter...but then again you know how much I know about scripts! So I shall leave it to the people who know what they're talking about to comment sensibly and just say I enjoyed it and retire gracefully... Elli |
Written by Phil (6738 comments posted) 5th December 2006 |
| Enjoyed this again Jane - and certainly not too long. If this is a script for TV (it reads like that), there's possibly about ten minutes worth here?? Taken along with the original, I'm finding it quite easy to picture your characters - an achievement as all the reader has is the words, not the visual. Enjoyed this. I actually thought it could have been longer to take the plot on to a more cruicial stage. This isn't a criticism, you've probably kept it short to suit us - but if the writing's good enough, it's not a problem reading more. I'd have happily read more - so the writing must be good enough. Long winded way of saying - keep going, this is well worth the read. I guess the most difficult thing is ploughing on and developing the plot. For me, a really good piece. All the best, Phil. |
| Hi Jane Written by jean.day (2286 comments posted) 5th December 2006 |
| I thought this read through well - more easily than the first go. I am enjoying it and like the others hope to see more of it. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 7th December 2006 |
| I am coming to this later than everyone else (house guests!), but I too enjoyed it and am eagerly waiting for more. Poor Gordon and his awful cooking skills! Part of me wants him to end up actually learning how to cook and shocking everyone. I found Gemma's interactions with him depressingly believable. All her father wants to do is help his family by doing something useful -- and he quite naturally wants to keep her warm and safe -- and yet she is so disdainful of his efforts, and so cruel to him. For some reason, I paid more attention to the dialogue between Gemma and her father than to the interactions between Faith and Sarah and then Faith and her co-workers in the pub. But that is because I am more interested in family relationships than I am in work-related situations. I did enjoy the bit in the pub where Maggie, miffed that the fit boys are leaving, decides that they must be gay. I used to work with a woman who did this all the time -- any man who wasn't interested in her was immediately labelled as 'gay,' and boy, were there ever a lot of gay men, in her opinion. It is nice finding this touch in a play. I find all of this very interesting and readable. |
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 7th December 2006 |
| Hi Jane. This is really coming along now, we can already begin to see some quite intriguing scenarios developing between the main characters. This is well worth continuing with if you are still thinking of that 25/45 minute play at Hitchin. Best thing is to get all the dialogue down to fill the time, and then go through it fine-tuning it. Woody |
Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 9th December 2006 |
| It certainly matches up to your first posting. The dialogue reads very smoothly, seamless. I'm developing an image of each character, gestures, etc. OK, she's not one of your main characters (I assume) but Gemma, for example, is very clearly defined - and those family scenes play out really well. Interesting how, particularly in the first part of this post, you use more direction - I don't know what the proper way of doing it is, but this was like bits of prose describing or fleshing out any gaps - it made a huge difference. Woody says a play at Hitchin(?) - like Phil, I read this as TV - maybe because I associate this type of material with TV dramas, and don't go much to the theatre. I don't know how long it takes you to write it, but five pages of script have flown by for me. Really enjoying it. |
| Still enjoying Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 6th July 2007 |
| I'm still enjoying reading this and can visualise it easily. I'm not completely convinced by the secretary character (Sarah) and feel her opening scene with Faith need to be sharper and tighter. On the issue of direction I'm never really sure whether it's a good thing to write more directions or not. It can get in the way of reading the dialogue but on the other hand it can make the action seem less static. On a film/TV script I would tend to not have direction written into the script unless there was a particular point I wanted to get across but I would have some purely visual scenes as well. For example for the scene in the pub it might be good to have a quick establishing shot of the outside of the pub with a few people coming in / going out etc. just to indicate where we are. Personally I don't worry too much about direction; after all if the script ever gets as far as being made I'm sure there would be plenty of discussion between writer and director as to how it's be filmed. But hey... still a beginner myself. To finish I love your dialogue and would like to read more. |
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