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Shorts
The Holy Land
By Cuchulainn
05 December 2006

Ayaa ran across the open ground singing brightly to herself as the baked earth flew by under her feet.  She didn't have any smart running shoes like those athletes she had seen on television but that didn't matter to her, when she was older she would be such a good runner that people would pay her for winning races, and then she would buy some new shoes - but only after she had helped her mother and brothers get the things that they needed.
Of course she hoped she wouldn't have to wait that long.  Her brother Yahia was so clever and her mother was sure that he would become a physician and be able to take care of the whole family.  He hadn't been able to go to school for a while though and mother said that he would probably have to go away to get an education.  Ayaa didn't want her brother to go away, she had already lost her Father and if Yahia left it would just leave her and her mother to look after Malak and Ebrahem her baby brothers.

"You wont leave me Yahia.  Promise you wont.  Ever"
Her brother had smiled at her then.  He hardly ever smiled since their Father was killed in the Spring but he had smiled then.
"Why would you ask me that Ayaa? I'm not going to leave you.  I will look after you all and one day we will get away from this place"
Ayaa threw her arms around his neck then almost pulling him off his feet.
"Oh Yahia I hope so.  Will you take us to Europe or America where we can be happy forever?"
His smile had faded then but only for a moment.
"Ayaa" he feigned a look of surprise. "Are you trying to tell me you aren't happy?  Is our family too boring for you?"
"No silly.  But I think we could all be happier somewhere else".
Yahia drew her in closely resting his head on the crown of Ayaa's head.
"Yes Ayaa.  We probably could".

But she knew that they could.  If they lived in Germany or France or somewhere nice they would both be able to go to a good school, Yahia could have a proper education but she wouldn't be interested in that, she would love to have a real running track that she could run around, lap after lap and always trying to get quicker.  As it was she had to time herself running from her home to the half demolished apartment block about five hundred metres away.

Ayaa reached the apartment block and looked down at the watch that had been her father's.  It had stopped again.  It didn't bother Ayaa though, she imagined that she had just set a new world record and wondered how marvellous it would be to have everyone cheering her name as she crossed the finish line.
In her head she could hear the noise, thousands of people shouting out in joy as she received her medal or whatever the prize was and she smiled to herself.

She closed her eyes and decided to think about something else because the crowd were really getting quite noisy.  When she opened her eyes again the noise was louder.
She ran out from the entrance of the abandoned flats just in time to see one of the army helicopters flying over.  The noise was like thunder and dust was flying up all around making it difficult to see but it soon passed and the dust settled once more.
Ayaa was scared by the noise and decided it was time to go back home.  She remembered that there had been lots of noisy helicopters on the day that her father was killed but she hadn't really understood why.  She just knew that she didn't like them.

Ayaa started to head back toward the camp that was now her home.  She didn't want to run now and didn't feel happy any more but she knew that she would be ok once she got back home and had a cuddle with her Mother.
As she was walking she heard another noise, faint but growing in volume very quickly.  At first she was worried that the helicopter was coming back but she soon realised that it was a different sound and she looked up to see some of the army tanks coming down the main street in the town.
The tanks weren't as bad as the helicopters.  They weren't as noisy and they didn't blow up the dust so it went up your nose and in your mouth.  Sometimes they used them to knock down buildings which made people very sad but Ayaa didn't really mind them so much.

The tanks continued down the high street and Ayaa could see that there were things being thrown at the them by people that she couldn't see, some looked like rocks but there were also bottles with fire coming out of the top which exploded on the tank but didn't seem to do any damage.
As the tank got near to the end of the street she saw some boys running away from it and towards her, she thought she recognised some of the boys from the camp, they were all older than her so she had never spoken to them before but as they came near one of them called out to her.
"Run you silly little girl or they will shoot you".
Ayaa watched the boys as they ran past wondering why they would say something like that.  She wasn't scared by what they said but she thought it might be fun to race with them anyway and see if she could keep up with the older boys.
"Wait for me she shouted" just as the bullet punched through her lower back.

She dropped to the floor as the tank rolled past, wondering what had happened.  It felt like someone had thrown a rock at her but she couldn't move her legs and she was finding it hard to breathe.  She could see the boys still running away from the tank and two of them had fallen over also.
She felt silly lying here on the floor but when she tried to get up she just couldn't move and when she tried to shout out no noise came from her mouth.
She wished Yahia were here now.  He might not be a doctor yet but one day he would be and she would be a great runner and together they would have lots of money and they could look after their Mother and brothers...

After the army had withdrawn they found Ayaa and the two other boys' bodies out on the wasteland where they had fallen. The tanks had also shelled the camp killing another four children and seven adults.  The official statement from the Israeli government was that they had come under fire when conducting an operation in a known terrorist stronghold and that they had retaliated resulting in some fatalities.  They stated that the operation was another success in the ongoing war on terrorism and they received the unequivocal support of the U.S. and U.K. governments.

Yahia and the rest of the family did not know that Ayaa was a terrorist.  They knew that she was a bright nine year old who had a passion for life and a dream which she would never fulfil, but they didn't know she was a terrorist.

Reviews
Good story
Written by Fledermaus (3321 comments posted) 6th December 2006
There's a lot of such reports in the newspapers, but they consist of cold and simple lines. I think you did well in trying to show a more human side. The style fitted the character. I think she was a convincing little girl. 
 
I think it would be an even stronger piece if you had left out the western reaction, for that makes the reader suspicious of a 'soapbox'. The Israeli statement was neccesary to show the cruel irony, but one line on that would have been enough.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 10th December 2006
I agree with fledermau here. I thought this was a really strong piece which had a real impact to it. I don;t think you needed the last paragraph at all - for me it would have ended more strongly at, 
 
'They stated that the operation was another success in the ongoing war on terrorism and they received the unequivocal support of the U.S. and U.K. governments.' 
 
I really enjoyed this - surprised it hasn't had more reviews. 
 
elli

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