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Drama Scripts
The Fifth Columnist: Opening Scene
By andie
06 December 2006
My first submission to greatwriting, "The Fifth Columnist" is also my first go at scriptwriting in general. The script's written with Japanese animation in mind and addresses the theme espionage action (perhaps not unlike the anime Ghost in the Shell, to those who might have seen it).

Regardless of the specific medium and genre, I'm just very curious in knowing what the literary clique makes of this piece--so any feedback would be very much appreciated :) thank you for reading!

edit: Sorry, forgot to mention that there is no dialogue in this opening scene o_O Don't let that put you off though folks!

FADE IN:


I/E. BURDENKO MILITARY HOSPITAL, GOSPITALNAYA SQUARE,
MOSCOW, NEO SOVIET REPUBLIC. 23 APRIL 2066. 9PM.

ESTABLISH HOSPITAL’S FAÇADE

The hospital lobby is moderately busy that night. Newcomers
enter the building through automatic sliding doors and
register their names by the reception desk. Staff and
patients pass by the hall every now and again.

A nurse comes out of one of the lifts in the main hallway.
She rushes to the emergency section in the building’s right
wing.

Things look more hectic as the nurse arrives at the ward. A
young man has just been brought in on a stretcher, his
stomach bleeds from a large stab wound. A team of one
doctor and two nurses quickly attend to him. Across the
ward, three other patients lie quietly on their beds. They
all stare at the wounded man as his treatment commences.

Up on the second floor waiting lounge, dozens of patients
sit for their turn to be examined by the general
practitioners. Most people in the queue are young and male,
though some children are also present with the company of
their parents. More patients are seen dotting the third and
fourth floor corridors.

PAN UP FROM FOURTH FLOOR TO FIFTH FLOOR INTERIOR

The corridors of the fifth floor look rather bare compared
with the ones beneath them. Luminescent white walls
dominate its wide passageways, giving a somewhat clinical
impression. Almost invisibly, a number of staff walk across
the corridors in their equally sterile white uniforms.

Agent Bishop is on her way to the left wing. Wearing a lab
overcoat and a pair of framed spectacles, she blends in
naturally with her environment. Her dark shoulder-length
hair hangs neatly at the back of her neck. A fake identity
card hangs by her breast pocket, and a grey A4-sized folder
is firmly placed in her arm. Her black pumps clack modestly
on the white marble floor.


Bishop peers through her fibre-optic glasses, which show
her a transparent blueprint of the hospital map. There are
two dots on the map: the blue one marking her position and
the red marking her target’s.

SHOW HOSPITAL BLUEPRINT AND DOTS ON FIBRE-OPTIC SCREENS

Bishop glances around her. The corridor looks painfully
similar to the ones she has just passed before. White
doors, almost as luminous as the walls surrounding her,
line up to her left and right every four metres or so.


Bishop spots a hospital staff coming in her direction,
around 30 metres from her current position. She activates
her specs’ zoom-in feature. The man looks quite young,
perhaps a couple of years older than her. He is black-
haired and wears a coat that very much resembles hers. He
looks pretty harmless.

Everything seems to be going on smoothly until the next few
seconds, when the fibre-optic screens unexpectedly flash
before Bishop’s eyes.

SHOW THE WORD “ABORT” FLASHING THREE TIMES ON FIBRE-OPTIC
SCREENS

Bishop twists her brows. Despite her puzzlement, she walks
on. But the flashing does not stop, and is starting to
irritate her. A second later the message on the screens
change.

SHOW FIBRE-OPTIC SCREENS WITH MESSAGE: “ABORT OP. RETURN TO
SAFE ASAP. N.” GLOWING IN LIGHT BLUE

Bishop frowns and quits her step. While she thinks over the
validity of the message, the black-haired hospital staff
passes her by. Bishop angles her head to study his face.

PAN AROUND AND CLOSEUP ON THE MAN’S EYES IN SLOW MOTION

The man walks past Bishop, leaving her with a deeper frown.
She senses a signal of recognition for and from the black-
haired man, but cannot remember if she has ever really met
him before.

When the man disappears behind a corridor turn, Bishop
rushes to her target’s location as previously pinpointed by
the specs. She clips out her I.D. and swipes it through the
scanner next to the VIP room door.

The door slides to reveal a spacious room painted in light
creme. There is something uncomfortably posh about the room
and its interior. A middle-aged man lies on the bed with
both eyes closed. The bottom half of his face is covered
with an oxygen mask that is connected to the oxygen supply
tubes beside the bed.

Bishop takes little notice of her target. Instead, her eyes
glare at the heart-scanning monitor on the creme wall. The
whole screen is black save for a pair of faint-glowing
green lines running across the middle of the monitor.

ISOLATE HEART-SCANNING MONITOR. SFX: DECEASED HEART RATE

Bishop springs out of the room and across the corridor. The
black-haired man’s sharp blue eyes immediately haunt her.

FLASHBACK:

PAN AROUND AND CLOSEUP ON THE MAN’S EYES IN SLOW MOTION

CUT BACK TO:

Squinting her oriental eyes, Bishop looks for important
clues from the past.

CLOSEUP ON BISHOP’S EYES

FLASHBACK:

Blurry images of a grey chamber emerge from the back of
Bishop’s memory. There were several men in the chamber.
They all gathered before a large steel table; some sitting,
the rest standing. Their fitted black uniforms were armed
with weapons, and she was one of them.

CUT BACK TO:

Bishop is back in the main hallway. She halts her step
after seeing two hospital staff talking to each other near
the elevators. As Bishop adjusts her breath, she spots the
mysterious man. He is standing in front of the emergency
exit door at the far end of the hallway; not a breath later
he disappears behind it. She heads to the same direction.

FLASHBACK:

Bishop’s thoughts are back in the grey chamber. This time
she manages to capture some details of the scene. She was
standing before a steel table among a number of other men
in black. There were maps, folders and papers scattered on
the table. One of the men, apparently the leader of the
team, stood in front of a giant map and briefed them on
their mission.

CUT BACK TO:

Bishop reaches the end of the hallway and opens the
emergency door. She lifts her head up and catches sight of
the mysterious man. He is ascending the stairs at an
extraordinary pace, leaving her about three floors down.

FLASHBACK:

All the pieces are coming together on Bishop’s mind. She
remembers. She was present in the grey chamber for an
operation briefing in Berlin back in the year 2063. It was
a joint mission held by the British, French and German
Intelligences in capturing Europe’s most powerful druglord
of the time.

CUT BACK TO:

Never mind the fact that the operation was aborted mid-way;
there had been a certain individual in her group who
reminds her of the man she is chasing now.

He had looked different then, but there had been something
about him that gives away his current disguise.

PAN AROUND AND CLOSEUP ON THE MYSTERIOUS MAN’S EYES

Bishop searches deep inside her memory. Blond. That was the
colour of his hair. His expression was cold, his face
pretty. But most important of all, he had the same eyes as
those of the man she is pursuing.

Reviews

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 6th December 2006
I kind of liked this although I have to say that manga is not my favourite thing in the world - I thought Ghost in the Shell was just downright bizarre!!! Still I found this intriguing, not having any dialogue made it an odd read as a script but then that's very 'manga' I guess.  
 
I felt like it needed a bit of an edit as it came across a bit muddled in places. I'm far from an expert on these things but I'd imagine that if you're going to write this sort of stuff then clarity is all important. It'll be interesting to see how you carry this on and whether you can pull of the manga style once we get some dialogue etc. 
 
Elli

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