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Pharisees
By Talisker
06 December 2006
I hate the Scottish Literati see:

http://www.spl.org.uk/best-poems/poems.htm

for a load of old shite and back-slapping. See Spence's Haikus, then compare our Brian's - Hmmm.  Australia's greatest living poet, right here with us!

Oli

Who are these lickspittles
to claim the mantle of our
Immortal Bard?
Shite-hawks one and all!
Air hair lair!
Scottish don’t you know!
Charmed, I’m sure!
God bless the TLS!
How are Mick and Rab,
and Tam and Liz?
Grieve was right,
“croose London Scotties
wi yer braw shirt fronts!”
A superbug on all your houses!

Oli 06/12/06

Reviews
dear lord . Oli --
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 6th December 2006
It's nice to be appreciated -- but I have only one hat and can't afford another -- and I need it for the summer here !  
 
patterjack
Rab C. Nesbitt..
Written by gerardconnolly (1186 comments posted) 6th December 2006
Lovely Oli. Nothing like a rocket up the arse of the literary elite. Th estring vest custodian o' Scottish culture could not have put it better. Most enjoyable piece since Harrisons. Sadly so many of them do not seemed to have grasped the butt is for sitting on not speaking through. Not something you could accuse me of.. Ever....Eh...? Last line was a peach. 
 
Slan! 
 
PS To Brian above. What in th' name o' Jesus' droop is the point of owning two hats when you can only ever wear one? Hey!!? Answer me that!! 
 
Confused. Pat. Ballyhoo, Co. Cork.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3298 comments posted) 6th December 2006
Any poem with the word lickspittle in is worth the read. I commend you for it's use. I don't really know the people mentioned but if you say they are lickspittles; its good enough for me.  
I'll happily agree with you about Brian as well after reading his Chaucer poem, even an illiterate gorm like me can see it was a gem. 
Always good to see a bit of well expressed bile on the site. 
cheers 
J

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 6th December 2006
Very nice Oli! I went to visit Spence's haikus...and I find myself in agreement with you! (although we may need to enlarge the doors on GW to cope with Brian's new hat :) ) 
 
'A superbug on all your houses!' 
 
Very good! 
 
Elli

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 6th December 2006
Took a look at Spence on the link you provided. You're right, what a load of old shite. Still, I assume he's getting paid for it - so there's hope for us all yet.  
 
Enjoyed very much. 
 
All the best, Phil.

Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 8th December 2006
I read Spence's haikus and was nearly on the floor laughing - what a p*ss take! :grin 
 
Enjoyed the poem. 
 
Best wishes, 
 
E :) 

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