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By nitenattc
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07 December 2006 |
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The brilliance of cold,
fresh fallen snow amazes
my awakened mind.
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Written by Phil (6738 comments posted) 7th December 2006 | This is pretty effective. It doesn't just describe a scene, it engages thought and feeling. Liked it (though not as much as that Autumn one you posted a while ago)
I think this reads as a Haiku if brilliance is pronounced 'brillyance.'
All the best, Phil. | Nice
Written by ainsel (48 comments posted) 8th December 2006 | I always like a poem that gives me a clear mental image. You've captured the moment, both the image and the response, very well.
ainsel |
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 8th December 2006 | I think the fact that this can be read as a single, logical sentence, detracts from it as a haiku.
The challenge must be to get more than one image in there and finish off with a flourish that "sums it up" - maybe thats just my feeling on haiku?
Oli |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 9th December 2006 | I really liked,
'The brilliance of cold,
fresh fallen snow'
but wasn't so keen on the ending...I think it's so hard to get the impact into a haiku so you're brave for persevering with it and I liked it.
Elli |
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