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Poetry


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I'll always remember

By joycekirkby

08 December 2006

A romantic poeam, a terzanelle poem

That was a day I’ll always remember,

When I first laid eyes on my one true love.

The leaves turning brown, in late September.

A bitter wind blew, dark clouds loomed above,

The shadowy trees looked barren and stark,

When I first laid my eyes on my one true love.

His dark eyes danced with a mischievous spark,

That was the moment, the one long ago,

The shadowy trees looked barren and stark.

The crisp autumn air had made his cheeks glow,

His collar pulled close to keep out the cold.

That was the moment, the one long ago.

Something on that day made me feel quite bold,

Perhaps it was the way he looked at me,

His collar pulled up close to keep out the cold.

I stopped to chat on that bench near the tree,

That was a day I’ll always remember.

Perhaps it was the way he looked at me,

The leaves turning brown, in late September.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 8th December 2006

I don't know what a terzanelle poem is. Reading this, there's obviously a rhyming and repeatng pattern. Clever and not easy to do I expect. This worked and read well, but didn't really engage me beyond the reading of the words. Sorry. Just a personal reaction. Others (who understand poetry) will hopefully feel differently.

All the best, Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 9th December 2006

I think I agree with Phil...a clever piece given the restrictions of the form but I found it difficult to engage with emotionally. So I liked it and it read well and I appreciated the effort and skill behind it but it didn't add up to anything greater than the words for me (I'm not sure if that actually makes any sense!)

Cheers,

Elli

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3352 comments posted) 9th December 2006

A wonderfully atmospheric bit of writing it worked for me despite not know what terzanelle is.

Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 9th December 2006

I thought this was very nice. As mentioned above, it was very atmospheric.
I found that I could relate emotionally. It was a description of one of those moments that seem to stick in our minds and hearts, where we can retell every little detail. I think it worked well with this poem - the repetition enhanced the idea of replaying a memory.

I had to look up what a terzanelle was, hehe! It looks very difficult, but you pulled it off!

Best wishes

E x

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