Beware of sneak thieves. They can appear out of nowhere.

"Hello, my dear, how are you? Come on in, you've timed this well. I just finished the tidying up and saw it was half eleven so I put the kettle on. Come through and sit down. There you go, now I'll just make the tea.  I've got some biscuits somewhere."

Now, where are they? Yes, in the tin, good girl, you remembered!  Now then, let's get this stuff on the tray.

"Right, here we go. Would you just move my book off the table. Thanks, now, let's get settled. Well, isn't it a lovely day! Yes, I was out earlier and quite enjoyed my trip to the shops. I enjoy the walk and it keeps me active.

Well I'm not doing badly for an old 'un, you know. It's very kind of you to say that but 75 isn't really 'spring chicken' you know.

Yes, you could try the tea, it should be ready soon. How's that, O.K? Thanks, yes I'll have a couple of digestives, thank you, my dear.Now then, I haven't seen you since the robbery, have I? Oh no, nothing major. No big break in or anything like that. In fact only one thing was stolen and it took me a while to figure out how it was done. It was a sneak thief, you know. The hardest kind to catch in the act.

Oh yes, I know who it was. Well, I could tell the Police but they couldn't do anything about him. No, this is something that I had to deal with myself. Here, have another bikky and I'll tell you the story.

It was three weeks ago last Saturday. I went shopping, as usual, and amongst my favourite shops is that little grocers in the High Street. You know, just down from Woolies. Yes, next to the newsagent. Well, I discovered, last year, that he sells peanuts in the shell. I know you can get them salted, dry roasted, etc., etc., but I happen to like them as nature intended, out of the shell. Anyway I bought a pound, well, what is it now, half a kilo? Oh, I'm too old to convert, it will always be pounds and ounces. Anyway, I bought my peanuts and other fruit and veg and got my meat and other odds and sods and came home.

So, Saturday afternoon I was sitting here, as I usually do, by the window, which was open a little as it was such a nice day, and I had the peanut bag on the arm of the chair. I was reading the new murder story I got from the library. It's a very good book by the way, Dead Man's Tales. Anyway, I got up and made some tea.

Please have another cup dear. Yes I will have another too, thank you. Now, where was I?

Oh, yes, tea. So, I went into the kitchen and pottered for five minutes or so. Well you know, you put the kettle on and then tidy up and that. Anyway, five minutes or so and then I came back in here and I thought that something was odd. Do you know what I mean, something just not quite right. Well I put the tea on the table, here, and then I saw what was wrong. My peanuts were on the floor here, under the window, and there were two or three shells lying in the chair. Now I don't drop the shells, I put them in a bowl I put on the table. Well, I couldn't figure out how the bag fell off the arm nor how the empty shells ended up in the chair.

Well, I sat down and thought long and hard but nothing sprang to mind. Then I stared out of the window and watched some children playing in the park and forgot about it, for a while. Oh yes, I get a good view from up here. Being one floor up is a help if you want a view from the window and that tree beside it doesn't block the view either. So, missing peanuts, no explaination. How was it done?

No ideas? You are as good a detective as me, my dear. In other words we are, or were, both stumped. Then I decided that I may be able to find out what was going on but I'd have to set a trap and keep a lookout. I put the peanuts back on the arm of the chair and then I took my tea things back into the kitchen and stood just in the doorway. As you can see, from there I can see the window and the chair. Well, I had to wait about ten minutes and I was beginning to think nothing was going to happen. In fact I was calling myself an old fool, then the little thief showed up, as bold as brass.

Well, he came in through the window, my dear. Yes, I know we are high up, no ladder, no fire escape. So what's left? Yes, the tree. Mind you this thief likes trees. Have you got it yet? Well, actually he's out there now, watching us from his favourite branch, but then he is well hidden, I just saw him just now. He reckons it's tuck time as I usually invite him in about now. However he isn't used to visitors so he's being wary. Are you ready? Now try not to move too fast. I'll just open the window ... now then, a broken digestive on the sill, there, ... O.K. Nutkin, when you're ready.

There you go, good morning to you.

Oh, my dear, the look on your face then was priceless! Oh dear, you have made my day, you really have. I'm sorry but that was truly priceless. You really weren't expecting old Nutkin, were you. Well, as you've seen, he is quite a daring little fellow, when he chooses to be. Yes, my trap worked that weekend. He slipped in through the open window, dipped his paws into the peanut bag and started to shell the nuts. I wouldn't mind so much but, well, he's not too tidy. He just throws the shells away, literally. He really is a messy guest.

Oh he's still out there, just being wary again. Here, pass me that custard cream, he's partial to them. Thanks. Now then I'll leave it here on the arm of the chair. Just sit still and he'll decide whether or not to take it.

Here he comes. He always pauses in the window like that, ready to turn in a flash if necessary. Come on, Nutkin, it's alright. There you go. I love watching him feed. He's so delicate, nibbling away and watching all the time. I notice he's keeping an eye on you. That's beacause you're 'new'. He and I are old friends now. I have to buy extra nuts these days. Mind you he doesn't get fresh peanuts very often, they're my treat. He gets whatever's going reasonably cheap at the time, either nuts or fruit, but he does very well out of me, don't you, Nutkin?

Yes, and good-bye to you, too. He has started to do that funny bob just before he leaves. I like to think he is saying 'thank you'. Oh, I know he isn't but I like to think he is and it does no harm, does it?

Now then, you over that surprise? Good. Well you didn't come round to hear about my thief, now did you. What's been happening with you, lately? What's your news?"