ACT III

SCENE:  Valerie and Herbert’s living room. STEPHEN and DIANE are seated in arm chairs placed close by, drinking tea.

STEPHEN:  (Quietly, as if afraid of being overheard) So did Valerie say when Dad was coming?

DIANE:  (Shaking her head) No.

(There is a brief silence as both sip from their mugs of tea)

DIANE:  (Cautiously) I have to say, she seems a little tense. Don’t you think so?

STEPHEN:  Val? Not really, no. No more so than usual, anyway.

DIANE: I think the fact that Dad is going to be here – she doesn’t seem too happy

about that. I can’t say I’d take it well myself.

STEPHEN:  (Quietly)  Mmm.

DIANE:  Guess it’s our turn next.

STEPHEN:  (Sipping his tea)  Simon and Celia have him for another week yet. We’ll get him the second week in January. Simon’s dropping him off on his way to Cardiff.

DIANE: Oh, yeah – I’d forgotten. (A few moments of silence pass while they sip their tea)

DIANE:  Stephen?

STEPHEN:  Hmm?

DIANE: I meant to ask you on the way up, but you were asleep. Did you get a chance to talk to Emily last night?

STEPHEN:  (Looking uncomfortable) Not really, no.

DIANE:  We’re going to have to do something! This just can’t go on indefinitely.  Apart from everything else, we just don’t have the space anymore! And once the baby comes –  (throws up both hands)

STEPHEN:  (Sighing)  Look, Di, it’s Christmas. Let’s just take a break from it all for a week. Maybe things’ll sort themselves out.

DIANE: (Bitterly) That’s what you always say! But I don’t see anything sorting itself out. What I see is you with your head in the sand like an ostrich and me going out and actually doing something. And then afterwards you say –

STEPHEN:  (Interrupting her in fake jocular manner) Speaking of ostriches, did you know that the whole business of them sticking their heads in the sand is really a myth? That the hen ostrich actually puts her head down on the ground when her nest is threatened, to try and blend in with the background, to protect her young –

DIANE:  (Ignoring him) And then afterwards you say, ‘See? There was no need to fret. It all sorted itself out.’ When in fact nothing’s –sorted itself out— (putting fingers in the air and wiggling them to represent inverted commas around the expression).  When the reason everything’s okay is that I’ve actually gone and done something about it!

STEPHEN:  (Casually) Well, I guess if that’s your take on it, then so be it.

DIANE:  (Angrily) My take on it? Oh, for pity’s sake!

STEPHEN:  (Sighing) Look, Diane, all I’m saying is, let’s wait until after New Years. Then I’ll talk to her, we’ll try and figure something out.

DIANE:  New Years, then, is it?

STEPHEN:  Yes, New Years. After that, we can both sit down with her and try to get to the bottom of the whole thing. See if we can’t help her get back into the work force, try to find a place for her to live once she’s had the baby.

DIANE:  Pardon me if I sound cynical, but the last time you said ‘Wait until after her

24^th birthday.’ Which was in October.

STEPHEN:  Yes, but, just after that you’ll remember that Colin had that skin cancer scare and –

DIANE:  (Quietly) It wasn’t skin cancer he was worried about, Stephen. It was AIDS. Or rather HIV.

STEPHEN:  (Coldly and angrily) What are you talking about?

DIANE:  (Defiantly) You know what I mean. He only told us he thought it was skin cancer to spare you. He knew you’d flip out if he even mentioned initials: HIV, AIDS.

STEPHEN:  Diane, you know as well as I do that this ‘gay’ thing of his is just a – I don’t know, a stage, I guess. You know that Colin’s had girlfriends. Still does, in fact. Plenty of them, too.

DIANE:  (Rolling her eyes) Yeah, sure. Girlfiends, that’s exactly it. Girlfriends as in ‘Let’s get together for coffee.’ As in ‘Let’s go and get our colours done.’ That kind of girlfriends.

STEPHEN:  (Angrily) I swear, I don’t know what’s got into you!

DIANE:  (Wearily) Yeah, well neither do I, so join the club.

STEPHEN:  Maybe you need a holiday. Take one of your friends and go to Mallorca for a week or two – or maybe take a trip back to California for a bit – see your sisters–

DIANE:  (Sarcastically) Sure, yeah, it’s nothing that a little money won’t fix, huh?

STEPHEN:  (Defensively) You know I didn’t mean that!

DIANE:  (A little more kindly) I know you didn’t mean to make it sound like that. But you seem to – (pausing and biting her lip while she thinks) – it’s like you will do anything to avoid confronting an issue. Emily’s separation. And her depression and her pregnancy. The fact that she hasn’t even begun to try to find a job or a place to live after the baby’s born. And Colin’s coming-out thing, too – I’ve been trying to talk to you about it for ages, and so has he. But you just don’t want to hear! It’s as though anything that isn’t sweetness and light – or – or – the easy and familiar – it’s as though you just don’t want anything to do with it.  And these issues – they’re not going to go away. Well, at least Colin’s thing about preferring boys to girls isn’t –

STEPHEN:  (Pressing his fingertips into his forehead) Do you have to put it so crassly?

DIANE:  (Exasperated) So how do I say it, then? His homosexuality? His gayness? His alternative sexuality? Are those more acceptable terms? More importantly, if I use those terms, will you actually see what’s going on, what Colin really is?

STEPHEN:  (Gets up and walks over to the Christmas tree; stands there with his back to Diane. After a few moments he begins to speak again, his voice tense and measured)  So what exactly is your point here?

DIANE:  (Sighing) My point is that we have to face these issues. Emily’s refusal to
even talk about going back to work – or going and getting some kind of counselling. Colin’s –you know – the way he wants to live his life. The way he is, has always been. We have to discuss them and agree on – (stops abruptly as the doorbell goes off) Oh damn! Gwen’s not supposed to be here until really late  – that’ll be Adam, won’t it? Adam and – (she flounders) – help me out here, Steve, what’s her name?

STEPHEN:  (Frowning) Key something – Kee Lee, maybe – there was another ‘EE’ sound in there, I’m fairly sure –

DIANE:  (Rushing to open the door, she throws Stephen a despairing look, then, as
she opens the door, greets Adam and Kimiyo with a huge smile)  ‘Hello! We’ve been expecting you! Come in – come in! Herbert’s just gone out for a short walk and Valerie’s just stepped out to pick up a few things at the store. Something about crackers, I think –

STEPHEN: (Smiling and putting on charming face) That’s crackers as in Christmas crackers, not in snack crackers! Come on in, Adam and –

KIMIYO:  (Smiling) I am Kimiyo! Pronounced Kee-mee-yoh. Don’t worry if you forget! Strange foreign name!

STEPHEN: (Heartily) Nonsense, it’s a perfectly lovely name.

DIANE: Absolutely!  I’m Diane, and this big guy is Stephen. It’s great to meet you, Kimiyo. Welcome to the family!

ADAM:  (Leading Kimiyo inside) Sorry we didn’t call to let you know first – we got here a lot earlier than we thought we would. I’ve never seen Birmingham so traffic-free; it was almost surreal.

KIMIYO:  And phone had no energy left –  so we could not call!

ADAM:  Yeah, I left it on last night and then today we forgot to pack the charger –

KIMIYO: (Laughing) He forgot to pack – I reminded him three, four times!

STEPHEN:  Well, never mind. Come on in and get warm – here, let me take your coats.

DIANE:  (Mischievously) Now let’s see – this is a tea moment, isn’t it honey?

STEPHEN: (Heartily) Definitely!  Tea everyone?

DIANE:  It’s taken me a quarter of a century to learn how to do it, but I can make a

perfect cup of tea now!  As good as anyone else’s!

KIMIYO: (Looking puzzled) Special kind of tea?

ADAM:  No, you see, Diane’s American and –

DIANE:  (Playfully) And the number of times I’ve overheard someone say, ‘Oh don’t let Diane make the tea, she’s a Yank, she’ll forget to use boiling water!’ Or ‘Better go and make sure she warms the pot first!’ (To Kimiyo, playfully, in a stage whisper) Their Dad’s always saying that.  (She rolls her eyes and shakes her head)

STEPHEN: (Affectionately, putting an arm around Diane) But you’ve shown them all, haven’t you darling?

DIANE:  (Putting on Western drawl) Damn tootin’ I have, partner.

KIMIYO: (Smiling pleasantly, wanting to get the joke, but obviously not following the humour) Well, if you like, I can also make tea, so I will help –

ADAM:  No, no, Kimi – come on, let’s sit down and let Diane wait on us this time. You can make the next round.

KIMIYO:  Okay.

(Diane goes off to make tea, while Adam, Kimiyo and Stephen sit down, Kimiyo and Adam on the sofa, Stephen in his arm chair)

STEPHEN:  (A little nervous, but in jocular fashion) So, little brother – what’s it been, then? Two years, right?

ADAM:  (Nodding) Two years exactly. I stopped by at Simon’s place, remember? Christmas Day. Everyone had just finished opening presents.

STEPHEN: You’re right. Exactly two years ago, then, almost to the day, after the wedding. You were in a bit of a rush, as I recall. In and out.

ADAM:  (Nodding) The university paid my airfare, but they didn’t give me a lot of

time. (Absently patting Kimiyo’s hand) I had to get back to London – tons of

preparation to do for the conference.

KIMIYO:  (Looking confused)  Last time you were back was two years ago?  I thought last year –

ADAM:  (Gives Kimiyo a brief warning look and interrupts)  Simon and Celia had Christmas at their place two years ago and I stopped by briefly. I didn’t have a lot of time.

KIMIYO: (Looking embarrassed) Maybe I should go help make tea –

STEPHEN:  No, no – Diane’ll be fine. So tell me about yourself, Kimiyo. Adam tells me you’re an interesting mixture.

KIMIYO:  (Smiling) I am! Father’s mother is all Japanese, but father’s father is mostly Korean – only little Japanese. I have Japanese last name, but really that name is Korean name, only made sound Japanese. Mother’s father is Japanese, but my mother’s mother only part Japanese, but mainly Chinese, so I am very Asian. (Laughing) All mixed up!

STEPHEN:  So, you grew up – where? Korea? Japan?

KIMIYO:  (Leaning forward) It is actually complicated! I was born Japan, then went Korea when very small. My father was also teacher, see, in university. So then we backed to Japan, when I was eight, then stay Japan seven years, then go and live in Korea again two years. Then I went to Japan for university and for teaching in elementary school afterwards, then back and forth to Korea –

ADAM:  (Interrupting fondly) Where I met her, at the Japanese consulate. We were both getting visas for Japan.

STEPHEN: (To Kimiyo) Why would you be getting a Japanese visa when you were
born in Japan?

KIMIYO: Oh, because my father is not Japanese. Not speaking strictly. He grew up
in Korea. So it is Japanese law that I must be Korean too!

ADAM:  They’re kind of old-fashioned that way, the Japanese. Things are changing there, but they’re still pretty conservative.

STEPHEN:  (Still staring at Kimiyo) So I hear. So, Kimiyo, do you see yourself as Japanese, then?

KIMIYO: (Thoughtfully) Well, I speak Japanese mostly. My Korean isn’t so good now, though must be pretty good when I was small. So for language, I think I am a Japanese. But then in Japan in childhood time, people always say to me ‘You are a Korean.’ Not always in a cruel way, just telling me that I am not like them, not Japanese. So I don’t always feel one hundred percent Japanese.

ADAM:  (Jokingly) Kimi and I reckon we’re citizens of the world. I was born in England, I’ve lived in Japan, the Philippines, America. And now Kimi’s on her third country, too –

STEPHEN: (Interrupting, addressing Kimiyo) So, what do you put down on application forms, then, when they ask you what nationality you are – Japanese or Korean?

KIMIYO:  (Laughing)  Well, I always put ‘Japanese.’ Because name is Japanese – well, sounds Japanese – and because I live there longest, you see. But I always feel – I do not feel hundred percent honest to say Japanese exactly. But, you know – only one box to put tick in, so must be Japanese.  Truthfully, to put anything there in nationality box is strange for me. Because passport is Korean, but feeling is more Japanese.

STEPHEN:  (Nodding) I don’t know if Adam’s told you, but our Dad – (He is
interrupted by Diane coming in with a loaded tea tray. Adam looks relieved)

DIANE:  (Merrily) Ta da!  Properly made British tea for four! Boiling water, pre-
warmed teapot and everything!

(Kimiyo takes a furtive look at the tea to see what is so special about it; Adam notices this and pats her hand)

ADAM:  (Sotto voce) It’s okay, Kimi – I’ll tell you later.

STEPHEN:  Milk? Sugar?

ADAM: None for us, thanks.

STEPHEN:  We’ve just been talking about Kimiyo, Diane. She’s a bit of an Asian Heinz-57, it turns out.

ADAM:  (To Kimiyo) He means you’re from more than one nationality. Kind of like soup.

KIMIYO: (Polite but confused) I am like soup?

DIANE: (Laughing) No, honey. Like Heinz. They’re a company that makes soup. They used to say they made 57 varieties, so ‘Heinz-57’ became a way to describe people who were part this and part that. Like me, for instance. I’m part Danish, part French, part Scottish. And one of my great-great granddads was a Cherokee!

STEPHEN:  (Leaning forward, raising his eyebrows, to Kimiyo) Don’t make her cross or she’ll scalp you!

DIANE:  (Laconically) Gee, honey, I haven’t heard that one before. (Addressing Kimiyo) So what are you, then, Kimiyo? Japanese and what else?

KIMIYO:  (Looking a little frazzled) Well, my father’s mother was all Japanese, but my father’s father –

ADAM: (Laughing) Kimi, you ought to get it printed up and just hand it out to everyone!

KIMIYO: (Stoically) My father’s mother was mixture Japanese and Korean and I am part Chinese too –

DIANE: (Laughing) Super – you really are an Asian Heinz-57!

STEPHEN: Be sure and tell our Dad that when you meet him! She hasn’t met Dad yet, has she Adam?

ADAM:  (Giving his brother a dirty look) Not yet. We haven’t even unpacked our boxes yet, after all.

STEPHEN: Well, the mountain will be coming to Mohammed tomorrow morning, then, when he gets here.

ADAM:  (Shocked) What?

STEPHEN:  (Surprised) Didn’t Simon tell you? Or Herbert?

ADAM:  (Still looking shaken) That Dad was coming here? He certainly didn’t.

DIANE:  (Frowning) Valerie said they only found out just before we got here, honey, so how could they have told Adam already?

ADAM:  (Stands up and walks over to the Christmas tree. He puts his hands in his pockets and begins to jingle the contents while he pretends to inspect Christmas ornaments) Well. Okay. When’s he coming again? Tomorrow you said?  In the
morning?

STEPHEN:  (Turning to Diane) It was tomorrow morning Valerie said, right?

DIANE: (Nodding) Around 10:00, I think she said. Simon and Celia have a morning flight to Amsterdam.

ADAM:  (Feigning nonchalance) So – how long’s he staying, then?

DIANE:  A week. Valerie’s none too pleased, I can tell you that!

ADAM:  (Dismayed, turning to face them) A week?

STEPHEN: (Watching Adam closely) Yeah. Simon and Celia decided they needed a
break, apparently. They’re going to Switzerland for Christmas, they’ve got friends there. They claim they told Herbert about their plans weeks ago, but their messages
never got through. So it was kind of sudden news for them, I suppose.

KIMIYO:  (Looking around as she speaks) So – your father – he will be here too?

ADAM:  (Bleakly) Yeah, looks like it.

KIMIYO:  (Perkily) So – it is more the merrier, then?

STEPHEN:  (To Diane) Say – do you think Valerie’s got any biscuits in there? I could just do with something sweet.

DIANE:  (Wearily) I’ve just sat down, Steve – (she stops, having intercepted Stephen’s meaningful look and suddenly getting the idea) Okay – come on, Kimiyo – come and take a look at the cleanest, neatest kitchen in the British Isles; it’ll probably make you as sick as it makes me. Everything colour-coordinated, labelled, right down to the last tiny little spice jar and you could clean the whole joint with a toothpick. Every time we’re over here I tell myself I’m gonna get my own kitchen into some kind of order, it has that effect on me – (Her voice fades off as she and Kimiyo get up and disappear off stage into the direction of the kitchen)

STEPHEN:  (Craning his neck after the women to make sure they are out of earshot) Let me guess: you haven’t told her about Dad yet.

ADAM:  (He says nothing for a few moments, then sighs and sits back down) There
didn’t seem to be any point, really.

STEPHEN: (Laughs quietly) No point? No point? Dad spent almost four years there, you know. The fact that he survived is a small miracle in its own right.  You might have mentioned it to her, you know.

ADAM:  (Suddenly angry) For God’s sake, Stephen, the war has been over for more than half a century. What the hell does it have to do with us? Kimiyo and I – we
weren’t even sparks in our father’s eyes ten years after it finished, for Christ’s sake!

STEPHEN: Maybe so. I mean, none of us were there; we weren’t personally
involved – I’ll accept that. But it has a lot to do with Dad, and it’s had a lot to do with all of us indirectly, wouldn’t you say? So your wife might have wanted a heads up at the very least. Don’t you think?

(They both suddenly look up, startled, as footsteps are heard coming down the stairs, in the background)

ADAM:  (Running his hands through his hair, speaking quietly) That was Paul, I take it?

STEPHEN: (Nodding) You know what Diane’s always saying about us? About us -- our family?

ADAM: (Shrugs, but makes no reply)

STEPHEN: She says that we’re full of whispers and secrets. That we’re always putting up a front, that we’re no good when it comes to talking about things we don’t like and sorting them out, things we’re afraid of, or that make us uncomfortable. Do you think that’s true?

ADAM:  (Shrugging again)  So who’s good at it, then? As far as I can see, the only people who like discussing things like that are those neurotic types.  You know – the nutters who’re seriously into angst, into examining how they feel – always getting deeper into their true feelings. (He snorts scornfully)

STEPHEN:  (Eyeing his brother speculatively) It’s funny –  you looked just like Dad
when you said that, I swear to God. Sounded like him, too.

ADAM:  (Jokingly, but obviously nettled) Yeah, just two stone lighter, a head taller and forty-plus years younger – (He breaks off suddenly as Diane and Kimiyo come back into the room bearing a bowl of biscuits and a tray of small mince pies)

KIMIYO:  (Smiling at Diane) Ta da! We found bis-ketts! My God, Adam, you have never seen such kitchen – so clean –(having trouble with her L here) – just like out of magazine!

ADAM:  (Grinning) Yeah, Val’s famous for her clean kitchen. Proud of it, too.

STEPHEN:  (Winking and smiling) Proud of the whole house, you might say. House
proud, even.

KIMIYO:  (Looking around her, impressed, but missing the play on words) Well, it is beautiful house! Everything so pretty and neat. I feel ashamed of my new kitchen in Nottingham, boxes in all corners, already floor dirty, crumbs all around everywhere, so messy.

ADAM:  (Putting his arm around Kimiyo) Hey, not your kitchen, baby – our kitchen, remember?

DIANE:  (Smiling and elbowing Stephen) Gosh, they’re cute: and a New Age couple, too! They remind me just a tiny little bit of us about twenty-five years ago . . .

STEPHEN:  (Grinning vindictively) I’ll give ‘em two years. Three years tops. Then
we’ll see!

KIMIYO:  (Nodding seriously) Yes, this my mother always say too. Two, three years, almost married couple very lovey-dovey. Then after have children, after three years are passed, lovey-dovey out the window and husband doesn’t look away from newspaper at breakfast time.

DIANE:  (Helping herself to a biscuit) Golly, do guys do that in Japan too?  

KIMIYO:  (Earnestly) Oh yes! Japanese men worse male chauvinist pig than British
men any time. My grandfather – this my mother’s father – always sitting and frowning, ignoring grandmother, all puffed up with himself and proud. Never does any chores, even small one like taking trash or bring in laundry. Very hard on us children, too, yelling all the time. Especially old men thinks they are like kings in their family. Like emperor.

(At the word emperor a hush descends on the room. In the background can be heard the sound of someone clumping along the stairs again. Everyone jumps)

KIMIYO: (Clapping her hand over her chest) Wah! That gave me shock!

ADAM:  (Reassuringly) It’s okay – that was Paul, my nephew. I told you about him, remember?

KIMIYO: (Nodding) The hikikomori, like my cousin Jun.  

DIANE: (Intrigued) The whaaaat?

KIMIYO:  (Shyly) We say in Japanese, hikikomori. Means someone who stay inside room, who doesn’t go out ever.

STEPHEN: (Guardedly interested) Does that happen in Japan?

KIMIYO:  (Earnestly, leaning forward) Oh, yes! It is big problem just now especially. Boys and young men usually, though girls too sometime – they stay at their home, they eat their foods in room, play on computer, sometimes maybe go out to convenience store, buy magazine, cup noodle, take home and eat it. But – no social life, no school. And they do not talk to friends or parents or sisters, brothers. Very sad. I have two students who do this before – always in room, parents very worried for their future, ask me to come and talk to them – try and make them leave their rooms. Very difficult situation.

(STEPHEN and DIANE exchange an uneasy look but say nothing. ADAM gently and unobtrusively elbows KIMIYO in the side and she blushes and looks embarrassed. At this moment the outside door suddenly opens and HERBERT  enters, stomping his feet and taking off his coat. VALERIE follows him, looking ill-tempered. She is carrying a full shopping bag)

VALERIE:  (With forced cheerfulness) Well, look who I finally managed to track down and drag home! In the park, he was, if you will, Mr Fresh Air Freak here. Having his nightly constitutional while I go out and get the last-minute shopping done.  (She sets down the shopping bag and flashes the room a smile that is patently insincere) Sorry it took so long, though – you must have thought we’d gone off and abandoned you! 

STEPHEN: (In jocular fashion) Don’t worry – we made up for your absence by raiding your drinks cabinet. Great whisky, Herb!

DIANE: (Laughing) Don’t worry, Herb! He’s joking, of course. But we did raid your kitchen and we helped ourselves to your biscuits and mincemeat pies.

HERBERT: (Smiling) Well, you’re welcome to all the pies and biscuits you want, but I hope to God you left me some of that whisky!  Hello Adam, long time no see. And this must be Kimiyo? (Shaking her hand warmly) Welcome to the family, Kimiyo.  But I hope Adam’s warned you:  you don’t know what you’ve got yourself into!