Not very funny I fear - just a fairly light hearted attempt to highlight the two-faced nature of Western democracy. That and to point out that no-one should mourn a man with a history such as his.

For once, no mention of royalty. (Wasters)

Augusto Pinochet – May he rot in hell.

Many despots and retired maniacs are today mourning the death of Augusto Pinachet, one time dictator of Chile. Margaret Thatcher, hailed by all Daily Mail readers as ‘Britain’s saviour,’ but by the rest of us as that evil witch from hell who cared not a jot for anyone on an income lower than her own, has today paid her own tribute to the ex-South American dictator.

“In a continent awash with corruption and strife, this man stood head and shoulders over other leaders of his time,” she stated. “He was an example of democratic leadership at its best.”

When asked about the 3000 executions performed by his unelected, military government on grounds of political belief she relied: “Here was a man ahead of his time. He was on the frontline of the war on global communism. He had our support as we all knew a communist South America would have been a disaster for Great Britain. And anyway, he provided cheap coal imports that enabled us to smash those Northern mining bastards.”

Downing Street was unavailable for comment, although an unnamed source has said that Mr. Blair was a little disappointed at the news as he was looking for advice on how to ‘disappear’ twenty-odd thousand political dissidents linked to the war on terrorism.

Meanwhile, Elton John and Dale Winton are winding up a bidding war on the internet auction site e-bay for Pinochet's old uniforms. (Proceeds to the Thatcher Memorial Home for Retired Dictators)