The recent news that MPs are demanding a 60% pay-rise bringing the average salary to £100,000 has brought about some unusual  responses. Sergie Galash,a Polish national, who runs a specialist employment agency claimed he could find people willing to do the job much cheaper.

”We haff many politicians in my country, too many. I could easy arrange for zum to come ofer. They work hard, all hours . Have no political allegiance so fit in easy with any party”
He went on to say, “OK maybe they are  little crooked but, hey, we heard about Bernie Ecclestone and cash for peerages, so now we think they fit in straight at home, like skunk in sewer as we say here, and they much cheaper and have own bicycles so good deal, yes?”

The problem of immigration was raised but the irrepressible Mr Galash had an answer.
“I got people in the country already. I bet my friend Anatol could do  job. I know your MPs do many other jobs as well as MP, yes?  Well Anatol do many jobs too. He clean factory in morning, afternoon work in kitchen and evening porter in hospital. I’m sure he could fit in being MP as well, piece of piss as you say”

An addition to the debate came from Ramash Patel who suggested a cheaper alternative was to outsource to an MP Call Out centre in Lucknow. He explained
“Vell vhen was the last time you saw your MP,eh? At least dis vay you get to talk to him vhen you want.”
This idea brought a scathing response from Government spokesman, John Presscot. “I’ve never heard of anything so bloody daft. I mean who wants a fooking foreigner as a fooking MP. Bugger me, you won’t understand what they say.I mean when I say what I say,it’s what I just said  and you know I said it but if its what someone else said well ….I mean to say. Well I think you know what I mean when I say how will we understand what they say”
Mr Patel admitted that there was a problem with poor language skills but thought that with specialist training could find  Mr Presscot as an MP in the Call Centre