Chapter 4
Elvis now travelled north, giving a wide berth to the city, and towards the wider part of the valley where he knew the wizard's strangely proportioned house to be. As he walked along the CT2, the northbound cart track from the city, he saw a figure approaching.
   It was a girl of early teens and she was clearly distressed. She was a pretty girl wearing a flouncey pink dress and a pink bonnet with a pink ribbon around it. As she walked she sobbed and rubbed her eyes.
   "Hello," said Elvis kindly. "You seem troubled. Can I help?"
   "I've ... I've ... lost my ... my sheep," she sobbed. "And ... and I don't know where to ... to find ..."
   "Where did you see them last?"
   "Them? Not them. It. I've only got the one; I'm from the poor end of the valley."
   "Oh, right."
   "I love my sheep. If I can't find it, I'll ... I'll ..."
   "Listen; I've got a great idea!" He pointed back in the direction from where he had come. "See the Eastern Ups in the distance? Go up there and find Olryk the transvestite shepherd. You can't miss him; just look for a flock of sheep wearing chiffon scarves and standing around with their hooves on their hips discussing the second act of Me And My Girl. Tell him that I sent you; he's a friend of mine. Now, he loves pink things, even some of his sheep are pink, so he'll probably swap a sheep for that pink bonnet of yours!"
   "Good deal, but hold the pink sheep bit; I absolutely hate pink. My mum makes me wear it all the time. I prefer black. He hasn't got any black sheep, has he?"
   "I expect so. By the way, are you Little Bo Peep, by any chance?"
   "What? Where are you from, Bozo? She's in nursery rhymes. I'm Little Fanny Easilay, and I want to be a model when I'm older." Then she burst into tears again.
   "Don't be upset, Little Fanny; Olryk will give you a really super sheep."
   "Sod the sheep. I said I wanted to be a model when I'm older, but I'm not growing and I won't be tall enough," she sobbed.
   "I wouldn't worry about height; just use your name and you should go far in that business. Anyway, do you like music? I'll sing you a song to cheer you up."
   "I do like music, so long as it isn't that damned country music, I can't abide songs about dogs dying, sheep dying, crops failing and women having to sell their bodies because the bank's foreclosed on the farm mortgage."
   "No, it's certainly not country music." Elvis swung his lute from around his back. The headstock hit him hard under the chin. "Bugger. I just can't seem to get the hang of that." He started to tune the strings and strum the instrument. "Right, here I go !"
   Elvis stood legs wide apart
    You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
    Crockin' all the time!
    You ain't a-nothin' but a hound dog
    Crockin' all the time!
    You ain't never caught a rabbit
    An' you ain't no friend of mine
   As he sung so Elvis swung his pelvis, wriggled his knees and flicked his long hair around. His top lip took on a dead sexy kinda curl.
    You said you were high class
    but that was just a-lyin' ...
   You could not see pretty Little Fanny Easilay's bum for dust as she scampered off down the track. As she ran she screamed out. "Indecent exposure! Indecent assault! Unnatural sexual act! Perversion! Rape! Multiple gang rape!!"
   Elvis stopped singing and looked very crestfallen. "So you didn't like my song, then?"