Chapter 7
So that's how Elvis completed his Task and stole the virginity of the beautiful princess Virgin... ia. Oh, there's just a little bit more to tell ... hence the new but assuredly brief concluding chapter.
   King Rex The Protective and queen Phoebe liked Elvis so much (mainly because he kept them supplied with just the right potions) that they gave him the hand (he had already had all the rest) of their daughter in marriage. And as she was no longer virgo intacta she was delighted to drop those three silly dots from her name and become just Virginia.
   The day after that famous night, there was much merriment outside the castle gate. Remember that Virginia threw out of the window that bottle that Elvis had taken from his sack just before they ...? It was, in fact, the right bottle and had contained Pinot Noir's best stallion-staying-power potion. It had landed right by the guard Imryk Ixard. Imryk thought, ‘Well, bugger I ... It's that there bottle of dwarf whiskey. Bloody good stuff that was! One swig and I was a gonner!' Even while on duty that morning, he had downed half the bottle. The great merriment was amongst the ever-growing crowd of women who were gathering in front of Imryk to ogle at the great bulge in his trousers: it was so obvious.  By that afternoon, the guard had a list of dates long enough to last him ... years.
   Elvis told Virginia all about the Task. She laughed about it. Now she was getting it regularly, and legally, from her ruggedly handsome and well endowed prince, she didn't care. After some months, a letter arrived at the castle addressed to Prince Elvis Floyd Brodsky-Timkin The Twenty-Fifth Late of Knortwych-above-Gymryk Now Of Actual Gymryk. This was his new name. The envelope bore the crest of the Society Of Dwarf Apprentices. He read the note whilst sipping the finest of wines and with Virginia looking over his shoulder.
   Dear Elvis etc etc etc,
   We hear that you completed your Task and wonder when you will be returning to Knortwych-above-Gymryk to take up your deserved post as apprentice agricultural machinery maintenance engineer.
   Regards
   The Lads.
   "Well, when will I?" he asked Virginia.
   "Hm ... Only when you agree to be castrated so that I can use Mister Todgy for a coathanger."
   "Fine. None of us want the story to end that way, do we?"
   "Hopefully not ... Elvis; let's nip upstairs for a quickie while this writer runs the Spellcheck ..."