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Poetry
ONE EVENING
By JohnnyD
11 December 2006
 
ONE EVENING

 
Strolling arms in arm

Love is in the air

Her fragrance enchanting

His ruggedness overpowering

Steps synchronizing in magic

A smile cuts across her face

 
As she holds him tight

He rustles a bit

She pulls him closer

As bodies proximity increases

Sensation spreads in the air

Oblivious to the passerby

 
They walk in silence

Lost in their own world

Onlookers’ surprising glances

And comments goes in vain

As they move hand in hand

Caring a damn about the world

 
One evening, the beautiful scene

Capturing so many different moods

To some, it is love

To many, it is public display

But for these lovers

It is just one evening of total bliss!

 
Johnny D

10th December 2006

 
 
 

Reviews

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 11th December 2006
Johnny, what to say? Some of your word choices are imprecise to say the least. Considering English is not your first language, this is very creditable piece, but it doesn't cut the mustard as poetry. 
 
Again, a good subject, but this time your inaccuracies let the the piece down. 
 
Let me know if you'd prefer me not to comment on your work. I do seem to have been pretty negative of late. 
 
Phil.

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