It’s official; a British Bobby is to fly to Sydney to sit in the stand at the 5th cricket test, to have a calming influence on the Barmy Army.
 
That’s what they want us to believe. Still there is probably some merit in this decision. I can see the bobby well; he is down at the allotment hiding in a ‘tardis,’ to escape the driving rain and freezing wind outside. He is feeling sorry for himself, than the call comes; “Now look hear young Molesworth I want you to hop it back to the station. We have a job for you. You’re off to Sydney to sit in the sun at the cricket. Don’t talk back to me, we don’t live in a democracy; you’re going.”
 
I can see why they need Molesworth in Sydney. It’s about culture, there has been no amount of trouble in the cue at the toilet. You get your Barmy Army people, well we all know about winging pomes. Like they are always complaining to the local police about the delay in the 'cue'. Firstly no one can understand them and secondly they don’t know how to follow clear instructions. I heard the reply as clear as mustard, “Stop your bloody winging and use the wash basin like everyone else does.” They just stand there and stare like stunned mullet, one can understand why the Sydney police have to take matters into hand and move them along, they look so untidy. “Move your arse or I’ll pistol whip you before I strip search you and your girl friend down at the station.”  It’s becoming a real police relations nightmare having loads of them chained to light poles out the front because the goal is full.  
 
Yes perhaps a familiar cone head with a quick Hullo, hullo, hullo will be the ticket to keep things moving along, the visitors will understand.
 
If they can find a bobby who can bat and/or bowl he could be/get a real hit at the test.