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Poetry
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Things I Hate
By Snodlander
12 December 2006
Victor Meldrew's constant optimism irritates me.

OK I promise to give the poetry a rest for a while

I don’t like beetroot, carrot, swede.

You know that these are things I hate.

I will not eat, so do not plead.

And why so little on my plate?


I don’t like work.  I try to share

And delegate the comp’ny woes.

But all my colleagues’ teeth they bare

And mutter that they are my foes.


I don’t like driving there and back.

On foot to cross the road they dare.

Defensive driving?  No!  Attack!

They know the risks, why should I care?


I don’t like weather, shine or rain.

Always too hot or cold it seems.

The garden floods, then bakes again.

Drought orders reign, yet down it teems.


I don’t like people far or near.

They are too strange, they are too bad.

Except my darling wife, my dear.

Yet even she can drive me mad.


I don’t like puppies, babes or clowns.

I don’t like films shown on TV.

And every one I meet just frowns.

Why can’t they smile and be like me?


Reviews

Written by Phil (6683 comments posted) 12th December 2006
Okay, no-one else is reviewing it, so I will. I've avoided this Snods, as it's the first of your many poets I've not enjoyed. I know it's light hearted and humourous, but it doesn't read like that for me. It's all a bit dour and down. 
 
Don't worry, it's probably only me. Sorry - as I say, I've had a lot of pleasure from your other stuff. God, I'm pretty crap at the critical stuff. 
 
All the best, Phil.

Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 12th December 2006
What are you trying to say? 
 
No worries, Phil. I know it was a typo, but never in this lifetime would I consider myself a poet. I know the above is pure doggerel. I hoped it might raise a smile, but we all miss. Our failures teach us lessons, like, 'leave the poetry alone and write a short story'. 
 
You should never be afraid of telling me something is crap, otherwise why would I bother posting here?
Things I Hate - other than mobile phones
Written by Josie (2780 comments posted) 13th December 2006
To tell you the truth, Snodlander, your poem flows along like many of mine for children - so, of course, I like it, but can understand that Phil won't like it. It's just not his kind of poem - but that doesn't make it bad in any way at all. I can tell you that children will just love this poem, and when I next meet the children I write for, I will get them to give me a list of all the things THEY hate, and I will copy the title of your poem. I have an idea that their "hates" will be different to yours. You've only had one review, but your second one says: "Well done". (I've written 120 plus poems this year and was beginning to run out of subjects, ha ha).

Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 13th December 2006
You know, I can't read the first verse back without it coming out sounding like Dr Seus. 
 
Maybe I should aim for a different target

Written by wattle (117 comments posted) 14th December 2006
Yes I understand this. You left out neighbour’s children on there bloody motorcycles. Oh and I read it to my dog and she thought a line about useless big black dogs would be worth a few lines. Thank you ‘Snodlander’ – regards, wattle

Written by philkent (157 comments posted) 16th June 2007
I liked the ironic twist at the end, we can all be a bit like that moaning our boobies off and then telling people to 'cheer up for Godsake.' 
 
My personal philosophy is, to quote Dorothy Parker, 'if you can't think of anything nice to say about people...come and sit next to me.' :grin

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