Just a bit of a ramble really! Sorry! E  My younger sister is at that lovely stage in life. She’s at that age where she will gladly enlighten everyone around her with her views on life. Life is crap; this family is crap, why can’t we be normal and so on.
I think in my family it’s a bit more difficult. We’re Arabs, which means that we have traditions to play along with. So being born and brought up in a city like Glasgow, one can get caught slap bang in the middle of a culture clash, especially if you’re a girl, since we get watched like hawks, while the boys can get away with pretty much anything they want. So this fourteen year old is ten times more angst ridden than any other.
I seemed to get passed that stage pretty well. I have a very different temperament to my sister. Whenever things got tough, I could quite happily shy away into my own little world. I had my fair share of mood swings, but I would always cool down easily enough, and then life was all daisies and butterflies again.
My little sister however, thinks that everything bad in life happens in order to make her miserable. You have to tiptoe around her unless you’re feeling at all suicidal because when she gets into a mood, everyone within a five metre radius goes down with her.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my sister to bits - she’s one of my best friends. Being one of the few people who actually know me, she will readily laugh at me when I do something stupid and be brutally honest with me, and vice versa. But she’s so damn hard to get through to. She simply doesn’t listen. I try to talk to her, explain to her that she’s not the only person on the planet, but that only leads to another screaming match. Of course, when she wants to borrow my clothes, she’s my best friend again.
I just think that these days, kids are growing up so quickly. When I was her age, I wouldn’t have dreamt of saying or doing half the things she does. I thought I was all grown up just because I owned a pair of half-inch heels, or because I went all the way into town on my own.
Perhaps it’s a good thing really. With all her stubbornness and assertiveness, comes passion and ambition – I know she’ll go far in life. I just miss that endearing little girl that I see in photographs, holding the hem of her dress like the princesses did and looking up at her big sister with a look of sheer delight and admiration.
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Enjoyed
Written by cheapthrill (30 comments posted) 13th December 2006 | Nice insight to the ubiquitious curse of a teenager.
I think I was reading in the New Scientist that in the passage up to adulthood teenagers use a different part of their brains to adults.
Purely for evolutionary ends they act more selfishly to ensure their survival, I guess the terrible teens are the modern affliction of that evolutionary need.
But as Mark Twain allegedly said;
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
So theres light at the end of the tunnel. | Teenagers
Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 13th December 2006 | She'll grow out of it  School, hormones, confusion, annoying peers... Teenage years aren't exactly the best time of one's life I guess. And, if you add to what cheaptrill writes above that scientists also discovered that the eldest brother or sister is usually more stable and quiet than the younger ones, there's some explanation...
I don't think it's a bad thing that Arab (or Asian, African, etc) parents are so careful with their daughters, especially in those days. When I read in magazines and newspapers what teenagers are doing nowadays, I wonder where Western traditions have gone to. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 13th December 2006 | At your tender age, you have already had a crash course in intermediate parenting! I didn't know any of this stuff until I had teenagers, and then it was too late. You are well ahead of the game, having helped to raise your sister. But you two are close (I wish mine were as close as you seem to be!), and you are lucky to have each other.
Our children have grown up in a culture clash too, having been born and raised in Japan, then transplanted to Scotland. They have an English father and an American mother and a thoroughly Japanese mind-set. I feel for you: your life must be interesting, but I'm sure it cannot be easy.
When our children are tiny, their elders are their heroes. We know everything and can fix all hurts. Then as they grow, they begin to see that we are human and, as they become teengers, they develop a view of us that is just as distorted, but nowhere near as flattering, as their infant opinion. We are clueless, uncool, and know nothing.
I miss my charming little fan club, too.
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Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 14th December 2006 | Nice piece. My eighteen year old is just starting to leave the awkward period and my eleven year old is just starting. I think the youngest will be more difficult - he's a risk taker, the other isn't.
All the best, Phil. |
Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 15th December 2006 | "I just think that these days, kids are growing up so quickly." This has been the cry of every generation. What we really mean is "Things are not exactly the same". My mum scandalised her mum, as I'm sure granny scandalised her mum.
And I never got you wrong for a moment, that you love your sister is evident, even when detailing her faults. |
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 15th December 2006 | Thankyou everyone, some really comforting responses.
Regards,
E
| HI JAN
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 17th December 2006 | I might have said a lot of what was already said above, but I can see things also from the younger sister point of view too.
My big sister was always telling me off for doing or saying the wrong thing - and she meant it with the best will in the world - but we were two very different people who each had to make our own mistakes in order to grow up.
My two daughters who are 5 years apart didn't really get to be good friends until they were both grown up. | Jean
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 17th December 2006 | Thankyou - I'll bare that in mind. I've told myself the same thing many times, but I think impatience gets the better of me!
One again, thanks for your comment!
E |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th December 2006 | I fought tooth and nail with the older of my younger brothers whilst we were both living at home - there was very little that we didn't disagree over. However, now that we have both left home and don't have to live under the same roof we get on very well. So there may be light at the end of the tunnel! Really interesting read.
Cheers,
Elli | Thanks Elli
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 18th December 2006 | I have a little brother too, with whom I've also had my fair share of squabbling!
Thanks again, E
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