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By JodhiDee
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13 December 2006 |
You said you’d like a bite So I passed you my apple. You said you’d hope we’d be friends So I gave you a stamp And told you to write me a letter. It started to rain so I gave you my coat. And as you grinned with the rain pouring down You gave me a thousand things. |
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 13th December 2006 | Aw I really liked this, short but very sweet!
It had me picturing one of those romance scenes taken out of an old black and white movie or something!
Best wishes,
E  |
Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 13th December 2006 | Short and sweet .... too sweet? Not sure. I'l come back later and have another read. I'm all sweeted out today. (Long and very boring story)
Phil. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 13th December 2006 | I don't think this is too sweet, actually, but then maybe my day hasn't been sweet enough! I liked this poem.
I think a genuine smile can really hold a thousand things. |
Written by Clifftown (642 comments posted) 14th December 2006 | | I really liked this; the last two lines were very effective. It's a lovely, gentle image of friendship which I found really uplifting. |
Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 14th December 2006 | This is lovely in its simplicity. A real pleasure to read. I'm not sure about the title, though I can't suggest a better one myself so maybe I should keep quiet!
Just wonderful |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 14th December 2006 | Liked this. The line,
'You said you’d hope we’d be friends'
read a tad awkwardly for me but other than that I really enjoyed this, nice and simple.
Elli |
Written by Phil (6845 comments posted) 14th December 2006 | I've come back after a day where I've not been embittered by those little things that make you cynical.
Sorry if my last review was a little off.
I liked this for it's simplicity and honesty. It's not too sweet at all. Funny how different moods can elicit different reactions to the same work.
All the best, Phil. |
Written by JodhiDee (15 comments posted) 15th December 2006 | | Thank you for all your comments. Phil I completely understand, this poem actually came from an excercise of writing a piece on rage: this is it. What? But it''s just how I felt that day, no anger or frustration so I couldn't respond to the idea of rage and this poem just sort of fell on the page. So I completely understand as another day it would have been a different story. Why had you been all sweeted out? |
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