Great Writing - Home > Short S. > From out of the mouths of babes
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1340 guests online and 8 members online
Shorts
From out of the mouths of babes
By Snodlander
15 December 2006
Thomas looked up at me with the serious expression seen only on politicians at grave national moments and four-year-olds.  It was odd.  Such a serious little boy.  He must get that from his mother.  It certainly wasn’t from my side of the family.

“Hello, Granddad.”

“Hello, Squirt.”

He continued to stare at me thoughtfully.

“Granddad, why do you call me ‘Squirt’?  My name is Thomas.”

“It’s my special name for you, because you’re very special to me.”

He nodded, mulling it over.

“But my name is Thomas” he continued, eventually.

“Yeeees” I said, hesitantly.  I had been on the receiving end of his relentless logic before, and knew that this could last all day.  “Would you like me to call you ‘Thomas’ instead?”

He nodded firmly, but kept up his piercing stare.  Maybe he would be a policeman when he grew up.  His stare emptied the space between him and you, until you felt compelled to fill the gap.

“What have you been up to today?”

“I’ve been to Sunday School.”

Gosh.  Sunday School.  Did such institutions still exist?  Perhaps there was hope for civilisation after all.

“What did you learn about?”

“Noah’s ark.  Do you know what a Noah’s ark is, Granddad?”

“Yes, it’s a boat for all the animals.”

“It’s a big boat for all the animals like giraffes and nelephants and bears” he continued, ignoring my answer.  “’Cos it rained and rained and the water comed up.”  And he mimed the rain falling and the flood rising, probably from a song they had sung there.

The Stare again.  It ranked a capital letter.  It wasn’t any old stare.  It was unique, peculiar to the earnest young boy staring up at me.  A proper Stare with a proper noun all to itself.  The Stare: coming to a cinema near you.

At length he took a deep breath, preparatory to a vocalisation of all those deep thoughts that had been churning behind that serious face.

“Were you in the Noah’s ark, Granddad?”

In spite of myself, a chuckle escaped from me.  When had I grown so old?  I hadn’t noticed, not even when I became a grandparent.  “No, Squ… Thomas.  I wasn’t in the ark.”

He looked puzzled for a moment.

“So how come you didn’t drown?”

This time it was a guffaw.  From anyone else it would have been an outrageously cheeky remark, but Thomas was genuine.

I winked at him.  “I’m a very good swimmer.”

He nodded again, fitting another piece into the jigsaw of the world in his mind.

“Would hippos go on the Noah’s ark, ‘cos they’re good swimmers too?”

“A good point.  Perhaps they just swam when they wanted to, but Noah let them sleep on the ark when they got tired.”

He frowned.  I had obviously tried to force a piece of the jigsaw into a hole where it did not fit.

“No, ‘cos if he opened the door to let the hippos on, the boat would sink, ‘cos all the water would get in.”

Of course.  Stupid me.  Fancy me not thinking of that.

“Well, you know he had birds on there as well?”  My inquisitor nodded.  “Well, that means he must have had two types of birds called ‘cranes’.  They’re like storks.  Do you know what a stork looks like?”  He thought for a moment, then nodded.  We had watched Dumbo together countless times.

“Well, I expect that when the hippos got tired, Noah used the cranes to lift them on board.  Cranes, get it?  Cranes, like building cranes.”  And despite myself I found myself miming a crane in order to impress this four-year-old with my wit and repartee.

Not even a smile.  He looked at me solemnly.  “You’re just being silly” he said, and walked off to find more sensible company.

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 15th December 2006
Nicely done. Even when they don't try, kids can make you feel far older than you really are.  
 
A lot of writers have trouble getting kids' speech right. But this is exactly how a four-year-old sounds. Admittedly, a rather bright four-year-old, but still spot on. Great opening line, too.

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 15th December 2006
Enjoyed this very much.  
 
Noah's Ark is a real four-year-old thing. I remember, I had an embroiderd one above my bed when I was a kid. It's in the attic now. Noah sort of went the way of Father Christmas. 
 
All the best, Phil.
Charming piece
Written by Leo (573 comments posted) 16th December 2006
This worked very well. I believed it. This was real.  
 
Great writing. 
 
Leo

Written by JourneyAtNight (301 comments posted) 16th December 2006
I enjoyed this. I could picture the little boys expression. 
 
As Leo said, this was real, genuine. I liked it alot. 
 
E

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th December 2006
Really enjoyed this - so much that I've come back to read it again. For me you got it down so well that it read like non-fiction (and that is supposed to be a compliment...). liked it a lot. 
 
Elli
hahaha
Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 17th December 2006
Thanks, elli. I shall take that as a compliment, despite the fact I am years away from being a granddad. In fact, this entire thing was fiction. 
 
But I'm glad I can be a convincing grandparent.  
 
I think.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th December 2006
Hey, if you ever want a backhanded compliment you know where to come! 
 
E
Nice work
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 18th December 2006
Hi Snod. 
 
I'll go along with the reviews above, I'm sure very similar conversations go off all the time with youngsters.  
 
My lad, in a recent homework assignment, had to write a sentence that included the word 'grave'. He offered: "My Dad likes to watch 'One Foot In The Grave'. Needless to say, he got 7/10 for effort but 10/10 for originality. 
 
Cheers 
 
G.
Hi Snodlander
Written by jean.day (2190 comments posted) 18th December 2006
I really enjoyed this. You may not be a grampa to a 4 year old, but I was certainly convinced. And having a nearly 4 year old granddaughter, you certainly have done a good job with the dialogue. Natasha, my granddaughter, frequently tells me how she can not quite believe how dumb I am.

Written by sueas (8 comments posted) 23rd December 2006
I like this - a lot 
genuine

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item