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Non-Fiction


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Wimp-boy's Christmas Wish

By Snodlander

15 December 2006

I wish this was fiction

“Hello Dad.”

Her dutiful weekly phone call home. For once it was me that answered.

“Hello, darling. How’s things?”

“OK.”

“Having fun?”

“Yes.”

OK, as sparkling wit goes, this was not anything spectacular, but it was more than we used to talk when she was at home.

“Mum wants to know what wimp-boy wants for Christmas.”

“Socks.”

“Socks?”

“Yes, he wants socks.”

“You do realise that he is the first man in the history of the world that has ever actually wanted socks for Christmas.”

“Well, that’s what he wants.”

“Aren’t there any nice men staying in your Halls that are a bit more… manly?”

“Oh, be nice. He’s not very well. He’s just come back from the doctors.”

“What’s wrong with him this time?”

“He had an insect bite on his arm.”

“You’re kidding me. He went to the doctors for that?”

“Well, it swelled up. They had to syringe it all out. Then they drew a circle around it and said that if it swelled beyond the circle he should go straight to A and E.”

“Sorry, let me get this straight, because I will have to give a report of all this to your mother. Wimp-boy actually wants socks for Christmas, and he has a gnat bite that may hospitalise him?”

“Erm… yes.”

“Aren’t there any nice women staying in your Halls that are a bit more manly?”

Reviews

Ah?
Written by Fledermaus (3489 comments posted) 15th December 2006

An um... interesting nickname... But what's wrong with socks, except that it's a rather boring present? Should wimp-boy have asked for a drill or a set of skrewdrivers? A manly present... I usually buy books for male friends and family.

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 15th December 2006

Well at least he's cheap. How much can a pair of socks cost? - and it's not as if you have to look all over the place for them. As for the gnat bite .... he's obviously a very sensitive boy.

Phil.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 16th December 2006

I laughed out loud at your last line, but still feel the need to argue Wimp-Boy's case here.

What other options does the poor lad have? Ties? Soap-on-a-rope? BVDs? Males are notoriously hard to choose gifts for, so I'd give the guy credit for picking socks. Most men never have to buy these things themselves if they plan judiciously, taking birthdays and Christmases into consideration.

Here's a tip: buy him some of that lemon-eucalyptus insect repellent you can get in a roll-on applicator. You can make your point AND help him out.

Written by JourneyAtNight (318 comments posted) 16th December 2006

Aw bless! I think if he wants socks then you should just give him socks. Look upon this as a blessing, as Witzl said, men are so difficult to buy for. A few quid spent at marks & spencers and you're sorted!

Enjoyed this.

E

Difficult?
Written by Snodlander (507 comments posted) 16th December 2006

Nonsense. We don't care so long as it has batteries and buttons. If it has a USB connection, so much the better.

He he, I'll bare that in mind...
Written by JourneyAtNight (318 comments posted) 17th December 2006

but I honestly wonder how men coped in the days before batteries and buttons... they'd probably be jumping for joy at the sight of socks.

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