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Poetry


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Mornings

By rilLie

16 December 2006

my last three poems, including this one, was written the same day, actually.... too bored. The school production's finally over and the only thing we have to do before christmas break is die from the tests we never studied for because we were supposed to "focus on delivering the power of our song to the audience", who, by the way, were already snoring by the time I went onstage, open mouths and all. The nuns are calling our academic problems "a challenge, by which you should all work hard" which translated to normal english would be, "die, creep, die." I have a lot of things to do this weekend... but it doesn't stop me from going on to the internet!!! I'm so happy.. we have DSL!!! 100kps ... large number!! -bliss-
wrote this while we were being scolded for "not giving it all"...

Reluctantly, they start to move
groggy voices singing wrong.
Somber eyes contrasting fake smiles,
hands on itching noses.

Feet on feet, heel on knee
hiding their little world,
of giggles and kicks and parodies,
of "What a Wonderful World."

"What a wonderful world," they all would say,
with eyes that would deceive,
with numb, impatient, swaying hands,
and mosquito-bitten feet.

They squeal and squirm, hiding from
the oblivious teachers' eyes,
lip-singing unknown words, yearning for
the bell's blessed peals.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 16th December 2006

Some really nice images in here rilLie. Especially liked: Feet on feet, heel on knee and: and mosquito-bitten feet.

All the best, Phil.

Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 17th December 2006

I agree with Phil, lots of great images. I really liked this.

E

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th December 2006

Definitely some nice images in here - I do think this is quite rough in its current incarnation. Needs some care and attention but has potential.

Elli

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 17th December 2006

I liked this too, rilLie, though I'm not crazy about 'swaying hands.' Maybe it is just my own rigidity, but I think of hands as waving or perhaps even flapping -- not so much swaying unless they are lifeless.

What I like is 'hands on itching noses' -- I can see a group of kids fidgeting, forced to stand up straight and pay attention in assembly. Not easy to do with mosquito bites, I well remember. . .

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