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Poetry
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Plague
By Merrybegot
17 December 2006
Plague
 

Come here childer,
Sit by your mother’s knee.
I hath something to tell you both,
Something that has happened ungratefully.
 

Do not look so scared daughter
Do not look so worried son.
Myself and your father,
We are no longer as one.
 

Oh! Deary me oh!
Your father had the Plague
We must stay here and mayhap catch this terrible ague
And one day soon we too may have to go.
 

We shall cope, my dears,
Oh aye, we shall cope as well as we can.
We have managed in the past before,
Your father never was a healthy man.
 

My dear childer,
All we can do now is wait.
Unless you pray to the Lord for mercy,
But I am sure we shall be taken by this fate.
 

Now come here childer into my arms,
And rest your heads upon my chest.
Weep if you very must,
Until you feel entirely at rest.
 

Reviews

Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 17th December 2006
I've read all your posts today and feel you deserve an honest review. Please understand these are my personal feelings - others will probably respond differently. While the subjects you have chosen are interesting, the way you have written about them does not make me empathise nor think deeply about the subject matter. It could be my lack of imagination that's the problem in this case. 
 
Hope this isn't too brutal. My advice would be to work over your subjects, layer them with more meaning and depth. There is stuff to go on here. 
 
Phil.

Written by Fledermaus (4146 comments posted) 17th December 2006
I haven't read the other poems (yet), but I think the message of this one came across. Yet is it is poetry I don't know. There is some rhyme, but you might want to count the syllables or try to make it flow a bit more naturally. 
 
I think the first two stanzas worked rather well.

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