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Poetry
Wise After The Event
By twriter
17 December 2006
A little something for Christmas and for the Lazy Writer's Club! (I must win the prize for being the Laziest Writer Ever!)

Enjoy, I'm not very happy with this but I want to know what you think!


Just a quick note to say Thank You.

What a kind gesture from you!

The PC and Cool Box;

the money; even a Wok

and the new television too!


Thanks to your Mum for sending:

The roller blades are being used well,

And the new Hostess Trolley;

the cookbook and brolly

as well as the nice new hair gel.


Thanks also so much for the chocolate,

The bottles of wine were great too.

I’m also enjoying the new Freeview Box,

The DVDs, CDs and  the new socks!

It  really was generous of you!


What more could one ask for at Christmas?

Well, I have an answer it’s true,

I have just more wish

on my Christmas list

And that is:

I’d love to see you!



Reviews

Written by Fledermaus (3230 comments posted) 17th December 2006
What went wrong in the fourth stanza? I think you got away with the rhyme in the first two. It wasn't perfect, but it was OK. Yet somehow in the last one there was hardly any rhyme left. 
 
The idea is very nice, but it seemed a bit rushed...

Written by Phil (6632 comments posted) 17th December 2006
Good idea for a poem. Shows the stupidity of all this consumer frenzy.  
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th December 2006
Liked the idea behind this...could have been a verse shorter I reckon and tidied up a bit but a nice concept. 
 
Cheers 
 
Elli
Hi twriter
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 17th December 2006
I started out as I was reading the poem thinking, what a lot of presents - how lucky. And then the last stanza told the real story. It is good. I liked it. I won't comment on the poetry aspects of it, as I am not good a writing poetry.
I do agree...
Written by twriter (117 comments posted) 18th December 2006
Thanks everyone so far! I said I wasn't happy and now I know why. Well, I knew why before actually but now this really needs some re-jigging! 
 
VBW, 
 
TW

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