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By MissManda
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18 December 2006 |
mermaid
slimy, striking
swimming, singing, staring
water, midnight, midnight, blood
soaring, sipping, sucking
subtle, smile
vampire |
Written by Clifftown (701 comments posted) 19th December 2006 | | Really liked the concept of merging mermaids and vampires for some reason! Very interesting - simple but effective. |
Written by Thatllbemethen (90 comments posted) 19th December 2006 | Creepy. Excellent.
| ditto.
Written by rilLie (5 comments posted) 19th December 2006 | creepy, but good!!!
cheers,
rilLie |
Written by ellipinnock (1816 comments posted) 21st December 2006 | I liked the symmetry in this piece - clever idea although I think you could tweak lines 3 and 5 to make more of the links between words which works so well in 2 and 6. Conceptually very strong and, for me, almost completely clean execution. Like it.
Elli | weird
Written by no1butClo (345 comments posted) 5th March 2007 | love it! 
rhythm would work better if you swapped vampire and smile, although i know that defeats the object of the poem >_<
clo |
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