Vain and Proud of it - Great Writing Creative Writing Community

Quicklinks:

Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Vain and Proud of it

READING ROOM

Great Writing - Home

Read and review others' work

Articles on writing

Advice from the community

COMMUNITY

Talk to others in the forums

Events and Competitions

GW News

ABOUT GREAT WRITING

All About Us

WORK AWAITING REVIEW
This list is randomly generated from all our published works. Riding the Waves of the ... by phoenix Three accounts of events... by teddy His Journey by beatricelouise Pursuit of Beauty (2) by ellipinnock Epicurus by Flippy_D The Gamble of Genetics by jean.day This Is The Part by splatterberry Santa Can’t Help You by Krish A Crushed Rose by sam_duke Listening by ellipinnock

GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.

WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2020 guests online and 7 members online fellpony sirwritealot applemuncher patterjack mia_ms_kim grace solst Josie

WHO'S ONLINE

fellpony

sirwritealot

applemuncher

patterjack

mia_ms_kim

grace

solst

Josie

Poetry


print friendly version
Vain and Proud of it

By IronMaiden

19 December 2006

Why should I remain modest and admire

Another’s eyes, when I have my own,

That are green. I know they envy my lashes,

Yet why must I deny I love them too?

I wish I had her legs, but my hair’s thick and dark,

While hers falls limp and dull.

Why must I not love myself, for fear

Of being vain, when I’m proud of

My achievements, the way I turned out, grew

From insecurity to confidence?

Are we not encouraged, to be happy in our skin,

Yet expected to disregard

Our qualities, to love all else above

Our selves.

Well feel free to be proud,

Because the person who thinks you’re vain,

As an old, insecure you, needing your help,

Make her proud, start with one, and soon

There’ll be no Vanity in the world.

Reviews

Written by Novu (12 comments posted) 19th December 2006

I really enjoyed this one.

I agree very much with the subject matter. It seems strange that we should not be allowed to love ourselves without being seen as vain.

Your poem itself is written in a coaxing and inviting way. You bring across your message well in the structure.

Excellent

Thanks

Novu

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 19th December 2006

I found this a well-written poem, but I did get a little confused with the pronouns in the last lines 'Because the person who thinks you're vain / As an old, insecure you, needing your help.' Who does 'your' refer to here? Please understand that I am a classically thick reader who tends to need things spelled out; there may well be readers out there who are thicker still, and you need to write for us.

I agree in principle, but having grown up in a home where 'Pride goeth before a fall' was pretty much the family motto, groveling humility is a lot easier for me. I also have two teenage daughters, and they are, rather amusingly, thrilled with their own appearance. They wouldn't even need your poem! After reading this peom, I shall tell myself that I have done a good thing in creating girls who can stand in front of the mirror, obviously thrilled with what they see.

Written by Phil (6632 comments posted) 19th December 2006

No problem understanding the 'message' in this. Pretty well constructed and effective.

I come from a family where we never 'bigged' ourselves up and it's held me back at certain points in my life. You're probably quite right.

Phil.

Written by Thatllbemethen (83 comments posted) 20th December 2006

The reviews thus far seem to have summed up what I think/feel.

One point though your title and last line seem to contradict.

Enjoyed reading it.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006

Liked the idea behind this very much. The structure didn't work for me in places e.g.

Our qualities, to love all else above
Our selves

don't see any particular reason for the split there...and there are a couple of points, previously mentioned, where it gets a little opaque. But I liked it, interesting and engaging.

Elli

Written by austheke (35 comments posted) 23rd April 2007

liked it. good points made, but i thought the poem structure could use some work. it seems broken into lines at the wrong places every so often. but, little minor gripes aside, i liked it.

Good, but needs a little work
Written by Amelia (30 comments posted) 15th December 2007

I agree with all previous reviews. I thought the poem made an excellent point, though the poem structure itself needs a little work. For example, the line "Why should I remain modest and admire / another's eyes when I have my own/ that are green.."

Those two line breaks really don't work for me; they don't contrinute to the message of the poem and they make the flow awkward and halting to the reader. I'd suggest spending some time reworking your line breaks.

Your message was fantastic and, for the most part, you expressed it well. Thanks for a good read.

Amelia

Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.

Previous item		Next item