Some more silliness. I thought I'd pay a rhyming tribute to Barbie this time.
BARBIE, WE CAN'T COMPARE
Oh Barbie, lovely Barbie, pet
You’ve got all that a girl might need!
And lucky you: you do not sweat,
Your feet don’t stink, you never bleed.
I hardly think that you can trust
A girl who never shows her age
Who has such an enormous bust
Who knows no anger, scorn or rage.
Your plastic smile, your stiff-set hair
Your waist too small to hold your guts
This slick perfection isn’t fair
To those of us with larger butts.
And yet, although we tease and mock
Your vapid style and phoney cheer
Your smile’s as fixed as steadfast rock
Dimwitted, gormless, Barbie, dear!
It’s true you make us feel quite plain
Uncouth and pimply, dowdy too
But even girls with half a brain
Are more intelligent than you.
|
Written by Phil (6851 comments posted) 19th December 2006 |
You're going to have to get over this Barbie fixation Witzl - it can't be healthy.
Enjoyed, Phil. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 19th December 2006 |
It is just that she looks so perfect and she has all these outfits to do all sorts of interesting things. Barbie the surgeon. Barbie the ballerina. Barbie the pilot.
I am, at once, both envious and sceptical. There aren't any Barbie-the DIY-specialist outfits, or Barbie going-to-the-tip wardrobes. No Barbie the slag dressed in the same sweatpants and teenaged son's worn- out top, no Barbie caught in her pajamas and unflattering housecoat out to check the mail in the morning with her hair looking awful. In short, I don't trust her, and I think someone needs to point out that she isn't all there. It's a tough job, but don't worry -- I'm all Barbied out now. |
ah---
Written by patterjack (1343 comments posted) 19th December 2006 |
-- but Ken must find something to love in her !
Or is he like so many dirty old men , merely lustful ?
It is the perceived image of American Beauty that bugs me --- long legged , small waisted big boobed blondes .
I myself am rather fond of a short brown haired wife. I would have divorced her long ago had she gone in for plastic improvements
patterjack |
I must admit ...
Written by patterjack (1343 comments posted) 19th December 2006 |
.. that the wife's hair is now snowy but not Barbie blonde -- I wonder if 55 years with me might have been the cause of that !
patterjack |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 19th December 2006 |
| Good for you, Brian. The 99.8% of us American women who are not blonde and do not possess hourglass figures of the Barbie type are also bugged by this perceived image of beauty. We hope to meet men who do not lust after Barbies. Sadly, we sometimes feel that such men are almost as rare as the combination of Barbie's figure and flawless good looks. . . |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 19th December 2006 |
| Our messages crossed! I don't think your wife's hair has turned white from 55 years with you. Mine is also beginning to change color after close to 20 years of wedded bliss. |
Hi Witzl
Written by jean.day (2332 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
| Good poem. Lots of fun. My daughters have banned Barbies from their daughters - but of course we have the old ones here, but the granddaughters don't seem to choose them over other fatter more normal dolls. |
Written by Fledermaus (3456 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
I saw a whole documentary on TV about her. You know, she wasn't originally created for kids, but rather for men. So that may explain why she looks like miss perfect.
I don't see what's wrong with her though. Boys have their superheroes, he-man, batman, super-man, action-man and what have you, muscular guys with a perfect body and an exciting job... Now they don't get frustrated over their toys... |
Written by Thatllbemethen (83 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
I feel an action man poem coming on.
I threw you out the window
I buried you in sand
I blew you up with a banger
Left you rotting in the ground
My dog it chewed your left leg
Well you'd already lost your right
But since my sister rescued you
You've shagged Barbie every night
Keep up the good work Witzl. Just because it looks like an innocent looking plaything doesn't mean it or she isn't watching, waiting and plotting the imperfect human race's downfall.
Maybe........................
|
Written by Clifftown (642 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
Enjoyed this Witzl, although on the other side of the coin my younger sister is a bit of a Barbie-alike (God only knows where she gets it from!) and she is constantly treated as though she is vapid and thick - nothing could be further from the truth. She also attracts the wrong kind of attention from men whenever we go out. So I suppose the rest of us mere mortals can console ourselves that all isn't perfect in Barbie world!  |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
Thank you, Phil, Brian, Jean, Fledermaus, That'llbemethen and Nina. You have all helped me lay my Barbie angst to rest.
I had no idea Barbie was created for men. How awful for them that she is so tiny.
Jean, I think your daughters are smart. My girls went through a brief Barbie-wanting phase, then decided she was pretty naff and besides, her clothes cost too much.
T-b-me-then, your Action Man poem is smashing. Reminds me a little of Toy Story (an excellent movie, I promise you, and well worth seeing, even if it does feature a Barbie or two). Love the happy ending -- I'll bet he ended up with Barbie nurse or Barbie social worker.
Nina, I do know a few women who are cursed with brains and astonishing good ooks. It hurts to feel sympathy for them, but I do! |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
'Barbie the slag' etc - I so wish they made them! Really liked this - I think a lot of us can identify with this...I console myself with the fact that were Barbie real she probably wouldnt be able to stand upright due to her daft waist to breast ratio...any more Barbie poems? I'm quite enjoying them!
Elli |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
| Oh Elli, dear, please don't encourage me! |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
lol but I like the Barbie poems! I do I do I do - if you're not careful I'll write one myself!
E |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
Do it! I was just thinking of posting one on Ken, actually. When I was about ten, I got hold of a friend's Ken doll. Having no brothers, I was very curious. I duly undressed him and -- nothing there! He and Barbie could have been twins, I swear to God. Even now I can remember my sense of disappointment and dismay.
Oh, what the heck -- here goes:
A HAIKU TO KEN
With my small child hands
Eagerly I laid him bare
Nothing underneath. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
| You've done it now! It will be posted shortly...love the haiku by the way |
Written by wattle (117 comments posted) 22nd December 2006 |
What you guys get up to on cold winter nights. Both Witzl and Mattel seem to have a lot to answer for influencing children with their ‘treats’.
Well done ‘Witzl’ I like |
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 22nd December 2006 |
I think my big Sis had a Cindy Doll - was that a cheaper(?) Barbie?
I remember she had the wardrobe and clothes and things - maybe even a pony?
The physical dimensions are a mystery to me. I was never allowed to see her naked - Cindy that is, not my sister, although, errr, I was never allowed to see her naked either...errr...stop digging Oli!
Oli |
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