Yesterday I walked into the American bookstore. This is a narrow shop in a busy street. It's crammed with books, games and even food and somehow it seems to have a strange appeal to anyone who looks beyond the borders of our tiny country. It's easily the smallest bookstore in town, yet if you seek anything special, you'll be sure to find it there.
The employees are (I guess) Americans, nice, friendly people who are always ready for some small talk, and what's more, they have actually read the books they sell.
Walking (or rather stumbling) through this shop I came accross a title I vaguely remembered. On the cover there was the picture of this gentleman I knew from television. With his moustage and his round head he somehow reminded me of a walrus. Ah yes, it was the no-nonsense psychologist, very un-scientific, but a PhD nevertheless.
I had always thought he was Texan, because of his somewhat paternalistic attitude, but I later found out he is actually from Virginia... Never mind; for us Europeans, they are all the same, aren't they?
Anyhow, I bought this book. Not so much because I need to discover my 'authentic self', but rather because I remembered my ex-girlfriend had it on her night stand.
Now this is not just some romantic nostalgy. It's rather to remind myself of her incredibly ethos, which I guess, wasn't so different from the straight-forward message of this doctor. She is, above all, a WINNER.
I never met a girl like her and I'm sure I will never meet someone like her again. She was by far the most matter-of-factish, down-to-earth person I ever met. I recall clearly how she claimed that she 'thought in solutions', whereas many other people 'thought in problems'.
Despite being even more European than I am, her attitude was very un-European: First of all, she worked incredibly hard. So hard in fact that she finished a 5-year study in less than 3 years, with straight As. I think the university well never again see the like of her, but then, they probably scared her away with their own lousy attitude...
Secondly, she was very, very religious and thirdly, she had a strange admiration for military aircraft and tanks.
But what struck me most was her incredibly optimism and her ever present desire to win. Second place wasn't enough. She had to be the best of the best. Her bookshelves were filled with prizes of all kinds, gold medals and trophees for all sorts of things, ballet, athletics, mathematics...
I somehow think of her attitude as 'American'. Being good is not enough, she has to be a WINNER. And the great thing is that she did not only want to be a winner, but she nearly always was one!
But back to that other doctor. It seemed she adored him and I'm curious what he has to tell me. Will he make a winner, an American out of me too? Or am I just too European to understand that way of thinking?
Thinking of these matters reminds me of Donald Rumsfeld's clumsy remark about the Old and the New Europe. Perhaps he had a point. In the Old Europe we are too much used to nagging and blaming others. People look down upon those 'uncivilized barbarians' accross the ocean, at that 'people without a history', but somehow I think we can learn a lot from the Americans. They may not have mediaval castles or Roman temples, but whatever stand one takes, one has to admit that the Americans are the winners of this age, a marvelously optimistic, hard-working people, the Romans of our time...
I'm curious about my book. Will it improve my life too, or is this walrus too alien for me?
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Well I have to disagree ...
Written by johniebg (538 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
... but first, I liked reading this, a nice way of putting across your memory. The Americans have since independence considered themselves to be the 'new world' and europe, the old. Even to the point that their history aligns their migration from the east to west coast with the Jewish migration led by Moses from Egypt to Palastine.
Get one or two Americans alone and you will generally not meet a better kind of people, get more than three or more than one family in the same space and they all start playing to type, as their society with its puritan foundations, dictates. Which for my mind is not a good thing.
Nice essay. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
Now hang on there a minute! You get me in a room with a lot of other Yanks and all I will do is try to hog the conversation. And I would try to do that even if it were just the two of us.
I'm not sure how to pin down Americans. I always think I've got us pegged, then along comes someone who ruins my neat stereotype. One thing I can say is that we tend to be opinionated, and we tend to want to share our opinions. And we tend to think that if things are bad, they ought to be made better. That is our best quality.
Our worst quality, in my opinion, is that we have grown fat and complacent. We hog the resources of this earth shamefully, and we don't even realize it half the time. We want it all because we've grown used to having it all. Well, that is about to change and it is high time. I love America and I'm not ashamed to be American, but I am deeply ashamed about our selfish energy policies, our excessive hedonism. And of course our government -- but never mind all that. It is bad, it ought to be made better. Enough said.
Fledermaus, I enjoyed reading this. Your friend would do well in America, I have to say. Three hundred and fifty years ago, some of my ancestors went from the Netherlands to Haarlem, Flatbush, and Brooklyn, New York. They did pretty well for themselves too. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
| Oops -- forgot to ask. Who is that fellow in the photograph? I genuinely don't know. |
Hi Fledermaus
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
First of all, to answer Witzl's question - that is Dr. Phil - known to me because of being on Oprah's show at least when it used to be shown here - very down to earth in his solutions particularly to marriage problems. I would think it would be an interesting book.
Secondly, I think it is as wrong to lump Americans together as it would be Dutch or English - perhaps even more so as Americans are such a mix of other countries in their background. I am 1/4 Dutch - my grandfather left Friesland when he was 6 with his family. I am another quarter Norweigian and 1/2 Polish. Even though I was born and raised in America, I think I inhererited how I think partly from the backgrounds taught my parents from these countries.
I do think there is a great emphasis on winning - especially in sport - and we Americans do sport well in high schools - everyone gets involved. Here I never saw my children involved in any school sport because parents weren't invited and it was all done during school time rather than as with us, being the major social event of the town on weekends.
And I think the American work ethic is good to an extent. They provide very little paid vacation - and expect a lot of their employees. But there are lots of negatives in that sort of system is you are a person who is not able to cope with the pressure. And the hospital treatment if you are unemployed is non-existant almost.
Anyway, Fledermaus, what I meant to say was this is a very good story and I enjoyed reading it. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
You are right about the American emphasis on sports, Jean. I used to hate it so much. My children complain about doing sports in schools here, but they really have no idea. British PE teachers try to involve everyone, even the uncoordinated and incompetent. In America -- at least in my school -- that group was scorned. Winning was everything, and we non-winners really brought the side down.
Now I shall go out and try to find out more about Dr Phil. All these things I miss not watching television . . . I'm not even sure I could pick Oprah out of a line-up. |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 20th December 2006 |
Thanks Johnie, Witzl and Jean.
Indeed it's of course a gross generalization to think that ALL Americans are hard-working winners, but that's what the "for us Europeans, they are all the same, aren't they?" hinted at.
But I do think there are some clear cultural differences between Europe and America, and we can learn from eachother. I've never been accross the Atlantic, but your comments seem to agree with the 'expectations' I had:
"we tend to think that if things are bad, they ought to be made better."
"I do think there is a great emphasis on winning - especially in sport -"
I think that my ex-girlfriend would fit in perfectly 
Thanks for your comments. |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 21st December 2006 |
Interesting piece Fledermaus.
My opinion, for what it's worth. I think the one thing that at least the British forget all too often about Americans is that they are foreigners. We share a common language and increasingly have a common media. White American culture is largely based on European traditions - but Americans are still foreign. They've established, in short time, their own culture.
I don't hold with the stereotype that all Americans are successful/winners. The successful ones are, the ones who come second (or lower) are not. I also don't hold with other national stereotypes - I've met people who fit perfectly, but many more who don't.
Anyway, enjoyed the essay.
Phil. |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 23rd December 2006 |
Thanks phil,
I think that's the same thing over here, people too easily forget that the USA is another country, with its own culture, and that's what causes so many people to be shocked at the behaviour of some Americans. Somehow it seems they can't accept that many Americans have values which are just as different from European ones as for instance Japanese of Arabic values.
Of course stereotypes are generalizations, but there are certainly cultural differences that are beneath those stereotypes. |
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