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| A Manc Xmas | |
| By BuffaloBill | ||||||||||||||||||
| 20 December 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||
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'Ey up, our kid, yer all right or wot? If you struggle to read this, then yer can't talk Queen's English and yer all a bunch o' numpty's! (As we say up here in God's country.) With due deference to John Cooper-Clarke, the Salford poet. Flippin’ ‘eck, it’s Xmas An’ I’ve ‘ardly got owt done, I’d better get to Bargain Booze Or me party won’t be fun. Me mucker’s comin’ round at eight ‘E’s bringin' loads of birds ‘E said ‘e’ll bring some blow an’ all (That’s weed in uvver words) The tunes’ll be dead bangin’; ‘Appy Mondays, Ian Brown, There’ll be beany ‘ats an’ whistles An’ we’ll all be gettin’ down. Me mam sez we’re all menkal An’ we’re gonna go to ‘ell But I’ll feel like I’m in ‘eaven If I get off wiv Michelle. She promised that she’d snog me If I bought ‘er summat nice So I went down Salford market An’ I got some fluffy dice. They’ll look wicked in ‘er Corsa Wot she bought from Dodgy Ted; (She’s working down the Asda, So she’s making loads o’ bread.) I got ‘er card from Clinton’s, Though the choice they ‘ad was bobbins; They were all dead daft an’ girlified, All Xmas trees an’ robins. So Xmas should be sound this time Wiv cake an’ beer an’ that. I ‘ope it’s not like last year When I frew up in me ‘at. It’s only once a year, though So yer av’ to do it proper. I’ll see yer all on Boxing Day, I ‘ope yer av’ a whopper!
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